When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

• Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

• Hope can be the flip side of fear.

• Hope is not based on optimism.

• Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

• Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

• Hope is resistant to futility.

• Hope resides in resourcefulness.

• Hope speaks to possibilities.

“While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

• Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

• Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

• Getting a good night’s sleep

• Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

• Feeling the warm sun on your face

• Hugging your loved ones

• Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

• Planning something you will look forward to doing

• Taking a road trip, even a local one

• Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

• Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

• Learning something new

• Listening to your favorite music

• Practicing mindfulness meditation

• Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

• Helping something to grow

• Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

• Making something with your hands

• Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

• Listening to the sounds of laughter

• Laughing

• Writing in your journal

• Smiling at a stranger

• Having a ‘do nothing’ day

• Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

• Doing something outside of your comfort zone

• Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

• Noting what you are grateful for

• Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

• Refusing to give up

• Listening to your intuition

Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

In times of great sadness and struggle, it can be challenging to remain hopeful. Finding peace within yourself or between people fighting each other may feel impossible. However, if we lose hope, the possibilities path closes.

Even in the darkest times, hope exists. It’s up to you to nurture hope and the belief that things can improve. This is especially needed now for our world.

You can also channel messages of hope and encouragement to inspire what’s possible for you. If you feel stuck, sad, and are struggling to move forward, soak in these words of wisdom from three incredible people. What will be possible for you?

3 Inspiring Messages of Hope that Encourage Possibilities

1. “Choose a better thought. Choose a better action.”

Marcy Stoudt, Revel Coach founder, encourages us to see the connection between our thoughts and actions. Are your thoughts leading you in a positive direction or paralyzing you before you begin? What you think affects what you do or don’t do.

It’s time to reframe if negative thoughts don't support positive actions. Positive thoughts will pave the way for actions with better outcomes.

What thought can you rework? How will that influence what is possible?

2. “Find the fascinating in every day.”

Christine Gray Johnson, Nest by Revel Advisor and HR expert, motivates us to find joy and hope daily. She understands that what you focus on greatly influences your day. A curiosity-based lens can help you see opportunities and possibilities. Christine advocates paying attention to what is “fascinating.” What do you find captivating, interesting, attractive, alluring, or engaging?

Develop an awareness of things big and small to stimulate curiosity. Reading a new word or phrase or seeing the beautiful changing colors of the fall landscape can be catalysts. The search for the fascinating can become a positive disruptor in your life. Discovery encourages openness, new ways of thinking, opportunities, and possibilities and fosters hope.

“If we lose hope, the possibilities path closes.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. “We miss out on opportunities when we only ask what could go wrong. It’s also worth asking what could go right. Change carries risk: we might fail. But sticking to the status quo also brings risk: we might fail to grow. It’s better to test and learn than to never test at all.”

Adam Grant, organizational psychologist and best-selling author, highlights the connection between opportunity, risk, change, and growth. When a possibility appears, do you focus on adverse outcomes? Does that make it difficult for you to lean in? Or do you also weigh the potential positive outcomes? Adam isn’t advocating that you ignore the risks. He is aware that any change has risks and can result in failure. But the more significant risk is never stepping out or growing.

What becomes possible when you consider the what-could-go-right-and-wrong-factors with the growth mindset lens? Does risk-taking feel different?

When negativity fills your mind, everything feels dark and impossible. The light will turn on by changing your thoughts, focus, and attitude toward risk. Opportunities, possibilities, and hope will flourish. What is possible for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

On this beautiful spring day, I am grateful to all the amazing moms who have mentored, raised, and taught me how to love and be loved, be a parent, caretaker, and friend. Motherhood isn’t all smooth sailing, as every parent will admit. It’s messy, confusing, and at times, clutter-filled. However, being a parent is also joy-inducing. Helping our kids to grow, explore, and become has been and continues to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

I learned about motherhood from the best- my mom and her two sisters, Aunt Bert and Aunt Ruthy. These incredible women who exuded love and encouragement are now gone. I miss our soulful conversations, giggle sessions, shared meals, hugs, and quiet times together. While they are no longer here, their love remains.

They helped guide me when I became a mom 33 years ago. My heart expanded and grew again when, two years later, our second child was born. I never understood how fiercely my mom loved me until I became a parent. I adore our daughters, Allison and Cassie. I can’t imagine life without their loving presence. Seeing them blossom into incredible people inspires me and makes me hopeful for our future.

I am filled with gratitude, love, and sadness on this Mother’s Day. I’m grateful to the moms who raised me, my daughters, who continue to teach me, and my husband, Steve, an amazing parenting partner. These relationships fill my heart with so much love.

I’m sad because my mom and aunts are gone. Aunt Bert, the last of the “Simon Sisters,” died suddenly last week. I’m still wrapping my head around this profound loss. 

“I am grateful to all the amazing moms who taught me how to love and be loved.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Whether you are a mom or know a wonderful mom, I hope you will take the time to celebrate a beautiful mom in your life. Wishing all the moms, aunts, and grandmothers a happy, love-filled Mother’s Day!

Is there a special mom you’d like to tell us about? Do you have any mom stories you’d like to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.