Posts tagged pain
How to Joyfully Grow and Thrive When Life Feels Like Complete Chaos

When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

 

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

  • Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

  • Hope can be the flip side of fear.

  • Hope is not based on optimism.

  • Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

  • Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

  • Hope is resistant to futility.

  • Hope resides in resourcefulness.

  • Hope speaks to possibilities.

While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

  • Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

  • Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

  • Getting a good night’s sleep

  • Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

  • Feeling the warm sun on your face

  • Hugging your loved ones

  • Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

  • Planning something you will look forward to doing

  • Taking a road trip, even a local one

  • Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

  • Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

  • Learning something new

  • Listening to your favorite music

  • Practicing mindfulness meditation

  • Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

  • Helping something to grow

  • Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

  • Making something with your hands

  • Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

  • Listening to the sounds of laughter

  • Laughing

  • Writing in your journal

  • Smiling at a stranger

  • Having a ‘do nothing’ day

  • Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

  • Doing something outside of your comfort zone

  • Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

  • Noting what you are grateful for

  • Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

  • Refusing to give up

  • Listening to your intuition


Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

 
What is the Purpose for This Moment in Time?
What is the Purpose for This Moment in Time?

There is laundry to wash, meals to make, people to check in on, and bills to pay. You have papers to sort, closets to organize, and schedules to coordinate. Your time is filled with the doings of daily life and so much more. You work, walk, run, and show up to support injustices. You reflect, create, converse, sleep, and reset. 

For this brief moment in time, my purpose is clear. Instead of doing or preparing for the next thing, I choose to be still instead of rushing ahead to another moment. In the quiet cocoon of my dark green hammock, stretched out between two 100-foot trees, I gently rock. 

The white clouds navigate decisively across the light blue sky. The gentle breeze shakes the leaves on the trees, which makes a swishing, rustling sound. The spring air is delightfully warm, and not too hot. The sunlight dances as it shows off the varied green hues in the woods. My breathing slows as I take in the deep earthy aroma of the forest.

At this moment in time, as the leaves rustle and birds sing, I sway side to side. The hammock’s movement encourages stillness within – just sense and notice. There will be time for doing and activating. But right here, right now, I am still. I slowly breathe in and exhale out.

There will be time for doing and activating. But right here, right now, I am still.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

The landscape is wrapped in that sleepy, afternoon light. A rustle. A chirp. Clouds float across the sky. Feeling inadequate, knowing that I alone cannot heal this world filled with so much unrest, pain, anger, and sadness, I choose this one moment to just be. My pause is not forever. From this place of calm, I can reenergize. Learning, questioning, helping, and doing will come, but for this moment in time, I am still. 

What does quiet look like for you? Is it something that you need? Can you remember a time when your nervous system was calm? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
5 Authentic Ways to Declutter Your Life
5 Authentic Ways to Declutter Your Life

Clutter appears in different forms like physical clutter, which shows up in our possessions and space. There is also clutter that appears in the mind, body, and soul. Each type of clutter looks and feels different. Effective decluttering requires various strategies depending on where you are focused. There are no rules here. Sometimes when we organize our physical clutter first, the positive emotional benefits we receive make it easier to care for other aspects of our well-being. At other times, it’s essential to nurture our mind or body first so that we can manage the physical clutter in our lives. There is no right, wrong, or singular way. It might be easier if there were one way, but since you are unique, your needs and process will be too. How will you declutter your life in a way that feels authentic?

To spark your thoughts about decluttering, I’m sharing five ideas with you for decluttering stuff, space, mind, body, and soul. As you read them, notice if any resonate with you. Or do other ideas come to mind?

 




5 Authentic Ways to Declutter Your Life 

1. Declutter Stuff by Shredding

There is something cathartic about shredding old papers. It’s a physical and visceral experience to feed outdated documents into the machine. As you watch and hear them rip to pieces, you are physically letting go. Recently, I edited and shredded two years of old tax back-up documents. They were ready to go because they were older than the seven years from the date of the filing requirement. I also thinned out and shredded some additional business and personal documents. Seeing the big bags of shredded papers exit the house on recycling day was incredibly satisfying. I felt lighter and less burdened by the past. The positive sense made me want to do more, and I know I will.

 

 

2. Declutter Space By Releasing

As you know, for the last few months, I’ve been offering virtual organizing only because of the pandemic. If this is something you are interested in trying, let me know, and we can set-up a VO session. With one VO client, I’ve been helping her regain space in her bedroom. For a variety of reasons, her clothing was overwhelming her room. Instead of having a peaceful, calm place, the piles, bags, and boxes were dominating the space. It’s a work in progress that’s going beautifully. I support her as she makes decisions about what to keep, donate, or discard. Each time we work together, we see the progress, as she lets go, declutters, and gets her space closer to what she envisions.

 

 

3. Declutter Mind By Conversing

We all have mind clutter. Our thoughts can be filled with worry, self-doubt, fear, and sadness. When those thoughts overtake us, it’s hard to focus on anything positive. One of the things that help is releasing those ideas by talking with trusted friends or loved ones. I have a standing weekly Zoom call with a small group of girlfriends. We go around the room and share parts of our week. We talk about our successes, challenges, worries, concerns, and observations. We support one another as we navigate this unprecedented time of change and uncertainty. After our calls, my mind feels clearer (yes, decluttered), calmer, and darn grateful for this generous group of women.

 

One of the ways I declutter my being is by soaking in nature’s beauty.
— Linda Samuels

 

4. Declutter Body by Honoring

It’s easy to hold tension in our bodies. We are often unaware that we’re doing it until our shoulders, jaws, or backs begin aching, crying out in pain. Perhaps we forget to move away from our screens and are sitting too long without a break. Worry, stress or fear can manifest itself physically in our bodies. This happens to me. However, I have four regular habits that help me return and attend to my body in a caring way. They are my body decluttering practices- mindfulness meditation, yoga, walking, and showering. Each of these encourages awareness of physical conditions and sensations. They remind me to soften, adjust, and attend.

 

 

5. Declutter Soul By Engaging

One of the ways I declutter my being is by soaking in nature’s beauty. Each season is magnificent, but there is something downright magical about spring. If you followed me on one of my walks, you’d catch me sneaking up on some flowers. You would see me lower my mask and stick my nose in the lilacs, viburnum, and other blooms to take in their sweet scents. You would find me outside digging in the dirt and planting colorful flowers in our ceramic pots. If you followed me on a walk, you’d find me meandering in the woods, walking along the river, or being still as I listened to the birds singing or watched the water flow. Engaging with nature declutters the deepest corners of my soul. I am enveloped by lightness and calm after spending time outdoors.

 

There are many ways to declutter your stuff, space, mind, body, and soul. Are there any areas that want your attention? What is one of your go-to decluttering strategies? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
The Simple Truth About How Signals for Change Help You Let Go
The Simple Truth About How Signals for Change Help You Let Go

Are you a change embracer, or do you avoid change at all costs? Maybe your attitude is contingent on whether you are driving change or if a change is being unwillingly thrust upon you. What have you noticed? Whether you approach change positively or negatively, letting go is an integral component. Seeking change will fuel the letting go process. We can’t move forward if one foot is planted in the past. We can’t engage in the present if we’re holding on too tightly to the way things used to be. We can’t grow if we aren’t willing to let go and experiment.

In this two-part Smead podcast, my friend John Hunt interviewed me about Signals for Change. We talked about eleven different cues or indicators that let you know when it might be time to make a change. As you watch the videos, consider this question:

What do you need to let go of to embrace change?

The Signals for Change – Part 1

How do you know when it’s time to make a change? In Part 1, I review five change indicators:  Boredom, spark, sleeplessness, drama, and dings. What role does letting go play in the changes you seek?

The Signals for Change – Part 2

Letting go is an integral part of the change process. In Part 2, I review six additional change cues:  Lateness, plateau, painenvironmentopportunity, and the “whoa” factor. What benefits will you experience by letting go?

Change and letting go can be stressful and challenging or exciting and freeing. Our attitude and circumstances influence how we navigate these experiences. Noticing a change indicator prepares you for the letting go process. What have you observed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.