Posts tagged chaos
How to Joyfully Grow and Thrive When Life Feels Like Complete Chaos

When the world within and around you is drenched in chaos, how can you thrive? Humans are complicated beings. We can simultaneously hold profoundly opposite ideas, emotions, and thoughts. We can experience love and safety when wrapped in our loved one’s embrace. We can also experience intense pain when we hear news about wars, hate, displacement, and heartache. The hard stuff can weigh so heavily on you that it can feel impossible to thrive. You might even feel guilty about experiencing joy when there is so much suffering.

Several years ago, I listened to a conversation about opening and cultivating the human heart with Frank Ostaseki, co-founder of The Zen Hospice Project, and Roshi Joan Halifax, Ph.D., Buddhist teacher and Founder of Upaya Zen Center. One of the ideas that resonated with me then and even more now is that hope is essential, especially in a “time of radical uncertainty.” Hope is not about “sappy positivity,” bypassing the truth of suffering, or thinking that everything will be OK.

 

Thoughts About Hope

During the conversation, Ostaseki and Halifax shared their perspectives about hope:

  • Hope helps us go beyond the rational.

  • Hope can be the flip side of fear.

  • Hope is not based on optimism.

  • Hope is a surprise. It’s light and buoyant and not about a particular outcome.

  • Hope reflects an understanding that what we do matters, even though we don’t know how, why, who it will touch, or what will unfold from our actions.

  • Hope is resistant to futility.

  • Hope resides in resourcefulness.

  • Hope speaks to possibilities.

While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

31 Ways to Thrive and Feel Joyful During Chaotic Times

Having hope contributes to being able to thrive. Without it, we give up. Take an active role in cultivating hope. Nourish yourself and others, and create a solid base to grow from. During chaotic times, there are so many things that seem futile. Instead, focus on engaging in simple actions or observations in your control. Hope will grow from there. Consider:

  • Watching the fall leaves gently float to the ground

  • Taking a walk along the river with a good friend

  • Getting a good night’s sleep

  • Eating a nutritious and delicious meal

  • Feeling the warm sun on your face

  • Hugging your loved ones

  • Reading or listening to uplifting books, articles, and podcasts

  • Planning something you will look forward to doing

  • Taking a road trip, even a local one

  • Brewing and slowly sipping a hot cup of tea

  • Curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite soft, cozy blanket

  • Learning something new

  • Listening to your favorite music

  • Practicing mindfulness meditation

  • Organizing that one room that is ready to be tamed

  • Helping something to grow

  • Focusing on the inhale and exhale of your breath

  • Making something with your hands

  • Pausing in the middle of your day to regroup and reset

  • Listening to the sounds of laughter

  • Laughing

  • Writing in your journal

  • Smiling at a stranger

  • Having a ‘do nothing’ day

  • Checking in by phone, email, text, or in person on your loved ones

  • Doing something outside of your comfort zone

  • Helping a client set boundaries, establish priorities, and get unstuck

  • Noting what you are grateful for

  • Offering compassion and kindness to someone you do or don’t know

  • Refusing to give up

  • Listening to your intuition


Life is a mixture of joy, pain, and everything in between. As humans, we know this is true. Yet even so, it can be challenging to navigate the sadness when your life and the world feel so chaotic and unhinged. While you might feel powerless to change the world, you can make your corner more joyous and hope-filled. You never know how your actions or words will uplift someone else. Be gentle with yourself and others. Nourish your being to have the energy to extend more kindness and compassion to yourself and others.

What helps you thrive during challenging times? What brings you hope? How do you make your ‘corner’ better? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

 
12 Amazing Ways to Mix Balance Into Your Life By Doing Less

There is a precarious nature to balance. One minute you’re standing solidly on the ground, and the next, you’re on that slippery slope about to go down the ravine. Our footing can be compromised in a moment. As I stopped to take this photo at the edge of the wooded path looking down on the Croton River, I slipped on the wet rocks and leaves. Feeling like I was in slow motion, I lost my balance, falling onto my back and looking up at the canopy of leafless trees. My heart pounded as I gently stood up unharmed but realized it could have been so much worse.

Isn’t our life balance a bit like that too? We’re going along just fine, feet firmly planted on the ground, and then there is a slight shift. Sometimes it’s imperceptible. Maybe we’re no longer getting enough sleep, overeating sugar, not maintaining our organizing systems, or cramming too much into our schedule. Before you know it, our balance is off. We’re cranky, less energetic, overwhelmed, and surrounded by chaos. There we are on our backs wondering what the heck happened.

I was curious about the ways my colleagues navigate balance in their lives. So, I reached out to this generous group –  Janet Barclay, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Ellen Delap, Ronni Eisenberg, Christine Li, Diane Quintana, Sabrina Quairoli, Janet Schiesl, Yota Schneider, Geralin Thomas, and Seana Turner. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt-

If I had less (­­­­________), I’d feel more balanced.

Their responses describe internal and external shift strategies which are personal, insightful, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes out to them for sharing their hearts and wisdom with us.

 




Balance By Creating Internal Shifts

“If I had less of and didn’t succumb to old and familiar life triggers that, in an instant, throw me off, I would have more balance in my life. It’s those nagging triggers, like not being heard, that was learned so many years ago. It’s a sense of sensitivity whereby thoughts and emotions are redirected. They seem right there, always dangling in full view, so it’s not difficult to roll them in and react to them. Triggers can play a painful part in who we are. However, when I see one coming, and recognize it for what it is, and refuse to knuckle under, I feel so incredibly balanced and find strength in what is truly a wonderful place to be.”

Ronni Eisenberg – Professional Organizer, Teacher, Author, Blogger

 

 

“If I had less uncertainty, I’d feel more balanced. When I don’t know what is going to happen, I tend to feel out of control and often respond in ways that are not always healthy. Of course, I cannot eliminate uncertainty entirely. However, I can ‘control the controllables,’ such as planning my meals, establishing and following both a calendar and a to-do list, prepping all I need for the next day before I go to bed, etc. I’m also quick to seek help when I don’t know how to proceed.”

Seana Turner Professional Organizer, Productivity Coach, Blogger

 

 

“If I had less time in my own head, I¹d feel more balanced. As a sentimental person, I spent a lot of time reminiscing about the past; as a solutions-oriented professional organizer, I am inclined to jump into thinking about end-results and what I want to have achieved when I look back on my life. I'm great at being mindful when I'm with clients but on my own? Not so much. While I am very lucky to have a more-than-equitable work-life balance, I suspect I'd have better overall life balance if I spent more time doing rather than reminiscing or planning what I should, should, should do in the future.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® - Certified Professional Organizer, Author

 

 

“If I had less need for control, I’d feel more balanced. I’m a firstborn, mostly type-A person. The desire to have everything work out right (read ‘the way I think it should’) keeps me spinning way too much of the time. Allowing plans and projects to go off my plan and just relax more and be in the moment would lead to more peace and balance in my life. I’m working on it.”

Jonda Beattie, M.Ed. – Organizer, Author, Presenter, Blogger

 

  

“If I had less small business industry emails, I’d feel more balanced. Those emails share what other people are doing and how they are succeeding. If this weren’t in my life, I would be less likely to compare myself to others.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Bookkeeper, Marketer

 

 

“Less business as usual; more willingness to pay attention to how I feel in the moment. Making myself a priority has always been difficult. That is why spending quiet time alone, meditating, reading, being outside in nature, even for a short walk, helps me recalibrate and feel grounded. After that, it’s up to me to trust what I know, look at what causes me to feel out of balance, and make adjustments. Along the way, I may falter, but every day is a new beginning and another opportunity to do better by myself.”

Yota Schneider – Life Coach, Retreat Facilitator, Blogger

 

There is a precarious nature to balance.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

 

Balance By Making External Shifts

“If I had fewer plates in the air, I'd feel more balanced. I am in the middle of a 3-day conference at the moment, and one of the takeaways that I have gotten is that one of my most important needs is ACCOMPLISHMENT.  I had never put a word to it before, so I felt that this was a useful thing for me to keep in mind. That is also why my response is ‘plates in the air,’ as this new realization has shown me that in the pursuit of accomplishment, I often am involved in more activities and pursuits than is actually good for me.  And I do love SIMPLICITY too, so I will be working on trimming my task list down a bit in 2022.”

Christine Li, Ph.D. – Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist, Podcast Host of the Make Time for Success podcast

 

 

“If I had fewer virtual meetings, I’d feel more balanced. The pandemic has changed how we work. It’s so easy to jump on a virtual call. But you’ll waste time if your input is not necessary for that meeting. Keep your valued time guarded by checking the call agenda. See if the topics being discussed are relevant to you and ask to be dropped from the meeting (join late or leave early) if not. This will give you more time to get important work done. If you are the meeting leader, keep to the agenda to save everyone some time and find more balance.” 

Janet Schiesl, CPO® – Professional Organizer

 

 

“If I had less cake, I’d have a more balanced diet. Cake just happens to be one of my very favorite foods! I find it irresistible. I love the way cakes smell, feel, look, and taste. ‘Frosting, icing, or glazed’ you ask… I’ll answer: ‘Yes please!’ Sheet cakes. Bundt cakes. Cake pops. Tiered cakes. Layered cakes. Cupcakes. Cakes for birthdays, holidays, after school snacks, brunches, dinner parties, or afternoon tea. Flavor, size, shape matter not to me! Let ME eat cake!”

Geralin Thomas Career Coach for Professional Organizers

 

 

“If I had less email to deal with, I’d feel more balanced. I've eliminated quite a bit by shutting down an account I no longer use and putting a stop to a lot of unwanted messages. But no matter how many lists I unsubscribe from, every time I buy something, I get added to another one.”

Janet Barclay, Certified Care Plans Specialist Website Caregiver & Designer

 

 

“If I had less of a need to be a helper, I’d feel more balanced. Often as an Enneagram 2, I am motivated and find joy in being a helper who is generous in giving time to support our Kingwood, Texas community. Being a helper is a good thing in that I am connected to others and support those in need. It does keep me busier than I might like. I have strong ties to philanthropies and deep roots in my community. In 2022 I am limiting my commitment to local philanthropies to step back and be more in balance.”

Ellen R. Delap, CPO®Certified Professional Organizer

 

 

“If I had less on my list of things to do, I’d feel more balanced. I have been working hard each day to accomplish everything for each of my businesses. I realize this is too much as I have been ignoring other aspects of my life. I always advise my clients to be realistic and to allow white space (unscheduled time) every day. I will be following my own advice in 2022. The past few days, I have been playing with my schedule to figure out how I can accomplish the things that are important to my business and allow me to have time for the things I have ignored. It all boils down to setting firm boundaries and remembering that ‘No’ is an answer.”

Diane N. Quintana, Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, ADHD Specialist, Hoarding Specialist, Author

 


Finding balance, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed, is possible. With the creative ideas that my colleagues shared, you now have some new strategies to experiment with. Whether you choose to work on an internal or external shift, balance is possible for you. For me, when I’m off-balance, I ask the question, “What do you need right now, Linda?” That might be getting to sleep early, calling a friend, or getting some fresh air. These give me the reset I need to think more clearly and identify a tiny tweak or change I can make. 

Which ideas resonate with you? If you had less (_______) in your life, would you feel more balanced? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

 
 
How to Effectively Balance the Extremes of Your Holiday Season
How to Be Inspired By Possibilities With Fall’s Astonishing Cues

After waking from a long, deep, dream-packed sleep, I thought about balance and the extremes we experience in life. We can feel calm and centered at one point. Those times are often preceded by chaos and stress. Feeling balanced is fluid and a continually shifting dynamic. The pandemic affected many of our experiences around balance. Maybe you’ve also noticed a shift in how you balance extremes.

In pre-pandemic days, the holiday season was filled with parties, gatherings, and engaging in “too much” type behaviors. Overdoing it disrupts our habits and sense of balance. This year, however, there will be fewer parties, if any. It will be easier not to overschedule and overdo. So our typical holiday stress, chaos, and lack of balance could be less this year.

Feeling balanced is fluid and a continually shifting dynamic.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Of course, you might be experiencing anxiety or sadness from not having the usual festivities or gatherings with family and friends. I love the holiday season and extra time to socialize with our loved ones. I am going to miss the togetherness this year.

Finding Balance Through reimagined Traditions

One of the annual traditions I look forward to is the winter solstice party at our friends’ house. They have live music, dancing, great company, and food. But what I love most is the giant bonfire they build in their woods. In the dark of the night, we climb the hill, light the fire, and form a circle around it as we mark another year. Then each person tosses their candle into the fire, as they let go of the past and set an intention for the coming year. The ritual is grounding like a giant exhalation or balance reset.

Take a pause and enjoy the video below of the bonfire from several years ago.

I felt sad but resigned, knowing our friends wouldn’t have the party this year because of the pandemic. But just the other day, we received an email invitation for their virtual solstice party. So while we won’t physically stand around the fire with them, feeling the warmth and camaraderie, we will be together in a different way. And right then, I sensed it. That one email lifted my spirits with joyous anticipation. It tipped my holiday season balance in a promising direction.

Whether it is holiday time or not, our balance is continuously changing. It’s useful to be aware and notice where you are and what you need. Are you overdoing it? Do you crave quiet? Are you reimagining traditions? Or, are things like Goldilocks says, “Just right?” What do you need to infuse more balance in your life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
What Is Your Joy Capacity During Uncertain, Volatile Times?
What Is Your Joy Capacity During Uncertain, Volatile Times?

What a week it was with a contentious election, rising COVID-19 cases, and so much unrest. To cope, we’ve been doing many things to quiet the stress. How have you been coping? I’ve been teetering between engaging in healthy and not-so-healthy activities. The unhealthy ones have included baking (and eating with some help) a tray of brownies with espresso chocolate chips and making two big pots of macaroni and cheese. On the healthy side, I’ve continued to meditate at least once a day, take walks outside, practice yoga, eat fruits and vegetables, and talk with family and friends. I’ve been on the look for those moments of calm and joy. Even when life is challenging, joy is present.

Last week, one of my good friends and colleagues, Yota Schneider, wrote a wonderful post, On Absorbing Joy. She asks, “What gives you joy?”  I love that question because it puts us in a positive seeking mode. And in case you are stuck, Yota offers many suggestions to seek joy-inducing opportunities, which include “engaging your senses” and “having a good conversation with your loved ones.” 

Even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

This past week has been a rollercoaster of moods and emotions. Yet even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me. I felt it as I noticed the light gracing a bright red leaf. I experienced joy when . . .

  • I giggled and laughed on the phone with my Aunt Bert.

  • I listened to the sound of the river lapping against the shore.

  • I heard the rustle of the crunchy fall leaves as they fluttered on the tree branches.

  • I felt the sun warming my face after many rainy, gray days.

  • I received an all purple surprise birthday package and card from an old friend.

  • I read two magazines cover-to-cover without any interruptions.

  • I saw my mom smile after waking up from a short nap.

  • I bit into the freshly baked, very hot, intensely chocolate brownie.

  • I visited with family after being apart for over a year.

  • I climbed into our cozy bed at night and snuggled next to my husband.


As human beings, we have a tremendous capacity for joy, even during uncertain times. How have you been coping this week? What healthy or not-so-healthy coping strategies did you use? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.