Spring is arriving, and this season often inspires hope-infused feelings. However, we can get stuck even during this joyous time. Have you ever felt stuck? When that happens, do you find figuring out your next step challenging? If so, you’re not alone. Grief, life transitions, negative self-talk, fear, procrastination, exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of information or expertise can prevent forward movement. Next feels elusive.

When I have too many next steps, I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing something, I ruminate about everything I want and need to do. Guess what? I become stuck. Depending upon the situation, I might make a list or chart, talk with a trusted friend, take a walk, or write in my journal. From there, I will take a tiny, doable action step. It’s enough to get me unstuck, build momentum, and journey forward.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. As you’re about to discover, there is power and relief in planning, listening, reframing, and breathing.

I invited an outstanding group of colleagues to share their personal experiences with you. They describe being stuck and the next step that helped them get unstuck. These generous friends include Alison Nissen, Christine Li, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jocelyn Kenner, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Lana Kitcher, Marcy Stoudt, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe a time you felt stuck and the next step you took to move forward.

 13 Remarkable Pros Share How They Make Their Next Step When Stuck

 1. Next Step:  Breathe

“When I get too much in my head, it usually results in feeling stuck. I’m vulnerable when I lounge in bed too long in the morning, dozing in and out of sleep. When this happens, I become captive to swirling thoughts, the effect of which is mental quicksand – the ultimate feeling of being stuck.

I escape the mental quicksand by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, then thinking about one or more things I am profoundly grateful for and creating a positive affirmation for the day ahead. This resets me, and I can move forward with lightness and positivity.

Jocelyn Kenner – Coach & Professional Organizer

2. Next Step:  Plan

“I was losing track of my next steps required by the many projects in which I am involved and also of things I wanted to do for myself & my two businesses.  I did two things. I created a weekly plan of the things I wanted to do day by day for my businesses & projects, which I put inside my planner. Then I decided to use the whiteboard in my office to list the tasks for the current day. Doing these two things has helped me get myself back in action and feeling in control.” 

Diane Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

3. Next Step:  Reflect

“In 2012, due to family emergencies and having to travel overseas to care for loved ones, I put my coaching practice on hiatus. Life took its course. Late fall of 2019, I felt the pull and began to contemplate launching my practice again. As I revisited my services and website, I realized that something had changed. I did not want to begin again where I had left off. I had to rethink how I wanted to work with people. I let go of the past, hit pause, and let inspiration come find me. For a good two months, I reflected, wrote, and explored possibilities. At the end of that period, The Art of New Beginnings was born.”

Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach – Life Coach, Retreats Facilitator, Blogger

4. Next Step:  Change Viewpoint

“‘Alison, that's not how we do it,’ the voice articulated. The words stung and left me upset.  

To stop the fear of becoming stuck when I'm distressed, I cross my eyes and look at my nose. Why, you ask? To remind myself that I can't always see what's right in front of me. 

This simple action prompts me to look at a situation from another viewpoint, one without heightened emotions. Irving Berlin once said, ‘Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.’ Standing back to gain perspective is a choice, and it's how I move forward when I'm feeling stuck.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Co-Founder & Chief Story Officer of Revel Coach

5. Next Step:  Listen

“I recently felt stuck after the death of one of my parents. My next step was to pause to focus on my feelings and my family. And to listen for when my brain and heart were ready to start moving forward again. So I turned to my favorite listening activities: walking, cleaning, and organizing. They worked! While I'm not running full steam ahead, I'm in motion. Having my projects and ideas in Evernote made it easy to pick one to work on. Then, that one thing turned into three things. Interesting how it fueled fresh brain sparks. Just what I needed.”

Deb Lee, CPO® – Digital Productivity Coach and Consultant, Evernote Certified Expert

6. Next Step: Stay Open

“I went from teaching special education to becoming a lead teacher. I had high hopes. About a year into that stressful job, I knew that this job was not good for me. I knew I should retire. But I was frightened I would not be able to support myself and also anxious I would get sick if I stayed. I talked to people who had retired and to friends. Fate intervened, and I saw an article about Professional Organizers. I knew I had found my next career. Whenever I need support, I talk to people I trust.” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker


  

7. Next Step:  Write

“Knowing where to start when contemplating writing a new ebook for one of my blogs has been challenging. But, when I started to write down the points I wanted to make in the ebook, I found that the direction and details came more naturally. Writing things down is how to clear the cloudy fog when stuck. It lightens my energy and allows me to see the steps.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Blogger 

“Sometimes you need outside help...to shake you out of a slump.”

— Lana Kitcher

 8. Next Step:  Check-In

“I love creating content, but perfectionist procrastination over choosing technology sometimes paralyzes my moving from idea to implementation. Once research stops yielding new information, I turn to others for a reality check and catalyst. Years ago, unable to pick a newsletter service, I presented my research and dilemma to a colleague. She encouraged me to pick a particular free trial but also reminded me that whatever I chose, I could always transfer to a different service later — I only had to commit long enough to make forward momentum. You can't edit a blank page; you can't evaluate an untaken step.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author, Blogger

9. Next Step:  Wander

“When my mind is on a negative repeat loop, and I feel stuck, I love to remove mental clutter. Here's how:

1. Go outside without any technology and allow your mind to wander.

2. Once you feel a slight separation from the problem, consider the situation and list everything in and out of your control.

3. Create two to-do lists: 

                        List 1: What actions can you take to move forward? 

                        List 2: What worries or items are out of your control? Place these on "The Universe's To-Do List." 

Taking action is an excellent step towards progress. But, when it's clutter-free - it's a giant leap.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of Nest by Revel

10. Next Step:  Redirect Energy

“I remember a time when I was serving as a volunteer on a committee for an organization that I loved. Over time, I found that my ideas were being discounted, disregarded, and ignored. I felt discouraged and stuck. I finally realized that I was not in control of this situation, and the only way I could move forward was to resign from the committee. I found another way to serve this organization on another committee that allowed me to contribute, and that brought me joy. It turns out my best option was to strike off in a new direction.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

11. Next Step:  Build Team

“In creating an online time management printable for Etsy, I had done my best on Canva and added the final product to Etsy. It was not getting traction and lacked professional product appeal. After a few months, I asked a professional graphic designer to assist.  Right away, we partnered on design and marketing. My go-to strategy to get unstuck is to build a bigger team.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

 

12. Next Step:  Shift Mindset

“That period immediately after the birth of my second child, I was in bed, feeling happy but also wondering how I would break out of my long-held pattern of being very, very cluttered.  I happened to see a segment on a morning show featuring Marla Cilley, known as ‘The FlyLady,’ and I decided to order her book right then and there.  

It turned out her book, Sink Reflections, was a wonderful explanation of how even the most cluttered and distressed person can make a ‘comeback’ into a more orderly and organized existence.  It was a great help to me, but what was perhaps even more helpful was my own decision to make a change for the good of my family and myself.

I encourage anyone who might feel in a similar ‘stuck’ spot that there are so many options to try these days.  All you need to do is decide to make that shift!”

Dr. Christine Li – Clinical Psychologist, Procrastination Coach, Host of the Make Time for Success Podcast

13. Next Step:  Enlist Help

“I became a mom a year ago and was feeling very stuck in my circumstances and my mindset. I had made the decision to reduce my work to part-time and was feeling lost with the transition to motherhood while trying to run my own business as well as a household on many fewer hours and much less sleep. I knew I needed help adjusting, but I wasn't managing to get myself to that point. So I invested in myself by 1) working with Linda and 2) enrolling in a 6-week mindset program. Sometimes you need outside help, new perspectives, and something different to shake you out of a slump.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity Coach, Small Business Consultant

What was the circumstance last time you felt stuck? What next step moved you forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck and want a thought partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients to move forward. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click the purple “How Can I Help?” button below.

The newest release (v39) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, embracing change discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Embracing Change Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Life Change

Do you want more happiness in your life? In The Fun Habit – How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life, behavioral scientist, organizational psychologist, and author Mike Rucker, Ph.D., shares how happiness is a state of mind which can feel elusive and dependent upon your circumstance. Yet fun is action-oriented and something within your control. He says, “In contrast to happiness, I’ve come to learn fun is less think and more do. You’re either having fun or you’re not.”

Backed by research and personal experiences, Mike shares ways to be intentional about fun. While he is not opposed to striving, he says, “instead of auditing your calendar for productivity, audit it for fun.” Use the PLAY model to identify and sort activities based on their level of challenge and degree of fun. Create your “fun file” to document and prioritize your fun habit. This book is for you if you’re ready to change and add more delight to your life. Mike says, “We don’t get through life without enduring periods of disappointment, pain, and loss. Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

2. Interesting Perspective - Slow Change

Change can happen quickly, but more often, it occurs slowly after percolation and transition. During a recent talk, Todd Henry, author, speaker, and creative thinker, described “how ideas tend to come in seasons, not moments.” He started to say, “there is a slow emergence.” Instead, he accidentally combined the words and said, “there is a slowmergence.” A new phrase was born.

Todd further described slowmergence and said, “We tend to think that ideas are sudden clicks, or a-ha’s, but they more often emerge as networks and patterns over time until one inciting incident illuminates what’s been developing for days or weeks.”

I often see this with my clients when they are seeking change. While it might appear as if a change is happening suddenly, it usually has been simmering for a long time. There can be an “inciting incident,” as Todd mentions, that brings clarity and action.

“Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

— Mike Rucker, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Film – Navigate Change

Recently, I had the joy of privately screening Kate Schermerhorn’s incredible award-winning documentary film, Do I Need This? The film is about “American excess and the stuff from which happiness is truly made.” While the stats are compelling, with American homes containing an average of 300,000 objects, or 93% of Americans using their garages for storage, this film explores so much more.

Kate shares about the environmental impact of our stuff while weaving in her family’s story and personal experiences of acquiring and letting go. These themes are supported by interviews including the leading expert in Hoarding Disorder, Dr. Randy Frost, Plentitude author and economist Juliet Schor, and artists and environmental activists Judith Selby Lang and Richard Lang.

Change is another theme in the film. We witness shifts in relationships with people and their stuff. Dr. Frost recognizes how “possessions often have an essence for us.”  That “essence” can make it challenging to release. Kate said, “I just want to hold onto the past while simultaneously letting go.” This film is an honest, beautiful journey about openings for change and the impact of stuff on our lives and the planet.

4. Interesting Product – Easy Change

There are times while going through a change when you wish it were “easy” or “done already.” There’s nothing like adding some humor to a stressful situation. Knock Knock has a great way of infusing playfulness into their organizing products.

The I Just Want It All pad brings whimsy and order to task and change management. You can select the options quoted above along with the third choice, “dipped in chocolate,” and then list your things to do below. The bottom of the pad asks, “Is that so wrong?” I think not. Change can be challenging, but with this list, you’ll be able to focus with a smile.

5. Interesting Thought – Accept Change

Change can be messy and challenging. It involves doing new things, altering habits, reframing perspectives, and stepping outside your comfort zone. You will make mistakes, experience adversity, feel vulnerable, practice new skills, and test your patience. It’s normal to have some “oops” moments along the way. In fact, it’s a great sign which is a change indicator. Embrace the mistakes. They will bring growth, learning, and the changes you seek.

Do you have an interesting change discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There is a precarious nature to balance. One minute you’re standing solidly on the ground, and the next, you’re on that slippery slope about to go down the ravine. Our footing can be compromised in a moment. As I stopped to take this photo at the edge of the wooded path looking down on the Croton River, I slipped on the wet rocks and leaves. Feeling like I was in slow motion, I lost my balance, falling onto my back and looking up at the canopy of leafless trees. My heart pounded as I gently stood up unharmed but realized it could have been so much worse.

Isn’t our life balance a bit like that too? We’re going along just fine, feet firmly planted on the ground, and then there is a slight shift. Sometimes it’s imperceptible. Maybe we’re no longer getting enough sleep, overeating sugar, not maintaining our organizing systems, or cramming too much into our schedule. Before you know it, our balance is off. We’re cranky, less energetic, overwhelmed, and surrounded by chaos. There we are on our backs wondering what the heck happened.

I was curious about the ways my colleagues navigate balance in their lives. So, I reached out to this generous group –  Janet Barclay, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Ellen Delap, Ronni Eisenberg, Christine Li, Diane Quintana, Sabrina Quairoli, Janet Schiesl, Yota Schneider, Geralin Thomas, and Seana Turner. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt-

If I had less (­­­­________), I’d feel more balanced.

Their responses describe internal and external shift strategies which are personal, insightful, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes out to them for sharing their hearts and wisdom with us.

Balance By Creating Internal Shifts

“If I had less of and didn’t succumb to old and familiar life triggers that, in an instant, throw me off, I would have more balance in my life. It’s those nagging triggers, like not being heard, that was learned so many years ago. It’s a sense of sensitivity whereby thoughts and emotions are redirected. They seem right there, always dangling in full view, so it’s not difficult to roll them in and react to them. Triggers can play a painful part in who we are. However, when I see one coming, and recognize it for what it is, and refuse to knuckle under, I feel so incredibly balanced and find strength in what is truly a wonderful place to be.”

Ronni Eisenberg – Professional Organizer, Teacher, Author, Blogger

“If I had less uncertainty, I’d feel more balanced. When I don’t know what is going to happen, I tend to feel out of control and often respond in ways that are not always healthy. Of course, I cannot eliminate uncertainty entirely. However, I can ‘control the controllables,’ such as planning my meals, establishing and following both a calendar and a to-do list, prepping all I need for the next day before I go to bed, etc. I’m also quick to seek help when I don’t know how to proceed.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Productivity Coach, Blogger

“If I had less time in my own head, I¹d feel more balanced. As a sentimental person, I spent a lot of time reminiscing about the past; as a solutions-oriented professional organizer, I am inclined to jump into thinking about end-results and what I want to have achieved when I look back on my life. I'm great at being mindful when I'm with clients but on my own? Not so much. While I am very lucky to have a more-than-equitable work-life balance, I suspect I'd have better overall life balance if I spent more time doing rather than reminiscing or planning what I should, should, should do in the future.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® - Certified Professional Organizer, Author

“If I had less need for control, I’d feel more balanced. I’m a firstborn, mostly type-A person. The desire to have everything work out right (read ‘the way I think it should’) keeps me spinning way too much of the time. Allowing plans and projects to go off my plan and just relax more and be in the moment would lead to more peace and balance in my life. I’m working on it.”

Jonda Beattie, M.Ed. – Organizer, Author, Presenter, Blogger

“If I had less small business industry emails, I’d feel more balanced. Those emails share what other people are doing and how they are succeeding. If this weren’t in my life, I would be less likely to compare myself to others.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Bookkeeper, Marketer

“Less business as usual; more willingness to pay attention to how I feel in the moment. Making myself a priority has always been difficult. That is why spending quiet time alone, meditating, reading, being outside in nature, even for a short walk, helps me recalibrate and feel grounded. After that, it’s up to me to trust what I know, look at what causes me to feel out of balance, and make adjustments. Along the way, I may falter, but every day is a new beginning and another opportunity to do better by myself.”

Yota Schneider – Life Coach, Retreat Facilitator, Blogger

“There is a precarious nature to balance.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Balance By Making External Shifts

“If I had fewer plates in the air, I'd feel more balanced. I am in the middle of a 3-day conference at the moment, and one of the takeaways that I have gotten is that one of my most important needs is ACCOMPLISHMENT.  I had never put a word to it before, so I felt that this was a useful thing for me to keep in mind. That is also why my response is ‘plates in the air,’ as this new realization has shown me that in the pursuit of accomplishment, I often am involved in more activities and pursuits than is actually good for me.  And I do love SIMPLICITY too, so I will be working on trimming my task list down a bit in 2022.”

Christine Li, Ph.D. – Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist, Podcast Host of the Make Time for Success podcast

“If I had fewer virtual meetings, I’d feel more balanced. The pandemic has changed how we work. It’s so easy to jump on a virtual call. But you’ll waste time if your input is not necessary for that meeting. Keep your valued time guarded by checking the call agenda. See if the topics being discussed are relevant to you and ask to be dropped from the meeting (join late or leave early) if not. This will give you more time to get important work done. If you are the meeting leader, keep to the agenda to save everyone some time and find more balance.” 

Janet Schiesl, CPO® – Professional Organizer

“If I had less cake, I’d have a more balanced diet. Cake just happens to be one of my very favorite foods! I find it irresistible. I love the way cakes smell, feel, look, and taste. ‘Frosting, icing, or glazed’ you ask… I’ll answer: ‘Yes please!’ Sheet cakes. Bundt cakes. Cake pops. Tiered cakes. Layered cakes. Cupcakes. Cakes for birthdays, holidays, after school snacks, brunches, dinner parties, or afternoon tea. Flavor, size, shape matter not to me! Let ME eat cake!”

Geralin Thomas – Career Coach for Professional Organizers

“If I had less email to deal with, I’d feel more balanced. I've eliminated quite a bit by shutting down an account I no longer use and putting a stop to a lot of unwanted messages. But no matter how many lists I unsubscribe from, every time I buy something, I get added to another one.”

Janet Barclay, Certified Care Plans Specialist – Website Caregiver & Designer

“If I had less of a need to be a helper, I’d feel more balanced. Often as an Enneagram 2, I am motivated and find joy in being a helper who is generous in giving time to support our Kingwood, Texas community. Being a helper is a good thing in that I am connected to others and support those in need. It does keep me busier than I might like. I have strong ties to philanthropies and deep roots in my community. In 2022 I am limiting my commitment to local philanthropies to step back and be more in balance.”

Ellen R. Delap, CPO® - Certified Professional Organizer

“If I had less on my list of things to do, I’d feel more balanced. I have been working hard each day to accomplish everything for each of my businesses. I realize this is too much as I have been ignoring other aspects of my life. I always advise my clients to be realistic and to allow white space (unscheduled time) every day. I will be following my own advice in 2022. The past few days, I have been playing with my schedule to figure out how I can accomplish the things that are important to my business and allow me to have time for the things I have ignored. It all boils down to setting firm boundaries and remembering that ‘No’ is an answer.”

Diane N. Quintana, Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, ADHD Specialist, Hoarding Specialist, Author

Finding balance, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed, is possible. With the creative ideas that my colleagues shared, you now have some new strategies to experiment with. Whether you choose to work on an internal or external shift, balance is possible for you. For me, when I’m off-balance, I ask the question, “What do you need right now, Linda?” That might be getting to sleep early, calling a friend, or getting some fresh air. These give me the reset I need to think more clearly and identify a tiny tweak or change I can make. 

Which ideas resonate with you? If you had less (_______) in your life, would you feel more balanced? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Madison Must Photography

As I sit down to write, thoughts of love, family, and a wedding swirl around my head and heart. Like a dream, I can’t believe that our youngest daughter, Cassie, married Matthew at our home one week ago. They exuded joy and love. We all felt it. By the end of the day, the back of my head ached from smiling so much. It was a good ache. There was so much love, a sense of wonderful possibilities, and hope for the future. Their celebration was a welcome bright spot in the midst of a challenging year.

My husband and I remained in the blissful wedding bubble for as long as we could. At this point, I have mostly returned to regular life. There are still a few flower bouquets reminding me that a wedding really did happen here, and some thank you notes to write. But other than that, my wedding tasks are complete, and the house is back to its pre-party state. What remains is this inner warmth from this significant time, images of tender moments, feelings of calm, and some lessons learned.

7 Lessons Learned from The Mother of the Bride

Communication

Shortly after Cassie and Matthew’s engagement last May, we started discussing the wedding. Right away, I realized we had different ideas and expectations. I recognized the importance of being open, listening, and remaining respectful of their wishes. After all, it was their wedding day. They chose to organize and handle most things and delegated some aspects to others, including me. We supported them in any way we could. Often that meant listening or offering ideas when asked. Keeping the lines of communication open was essential. 

Flexibility

A valuable life skill when making a wedding, especially during a pandemic, is flexibility. Change was the flavor of the day. The kids made plans and, because of the pandemic, had to alter them more than once. They remained flexible, and so did I. I’ll admit that I’m not naturally flexible and continue to work at it. The pandemic influenced a venue change, the wedding’s scope, the vendors, and the number of guests that could attend. Other changes happened that weren’t pandemic-related but required flexibility. Remaining nimble was a great coping strategy for all of us.

Madison Must Photography

Letting Go

As moms, we literally learn to let go from the moment our kids are born. They leave our bodies after being protectively housed for nine months. And that’s just the beginning. As our kids grow, we continue letting go in many ways. It’s useful to exercise those letting go skills when planning a wedding. There are so many things we can’t control. Recognizing that and letting go of control was key for me. It allowed me to worry less and enjoy more. The wedding was outside. Weather is one of the many things we have no control over. Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful. For example, we ordered a tent with attachable sides, in case it rained. We had control of the tent situation, but not the weather. Luckily, the wedding day was gorgeous. However, the newlyweds’ brunch on the following day was rainy, but the tent sides kept us cozy and dry.

“Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Planning

A lot of thought and organizing went into the wedding weekend. As I mentioned, Cassie and Matthew did all of the event planning. Their Google spreadsheets were amazing! However, my husband, Steve, and I had our lists too. The key was not waiting until the last minute to do things. In the months leading up to the wedding weekend, we made good use of evenings and weekends to prepare the house, clean, edit, organize, and schedule. There’s nothing quite like having a party to motivate you to get things done. I created a master list with separate projects and tasks in each section. Planning and allocating enough time to complete things made it less stressful. It also enabled me to more fully enjoy the process. I also discovered a fun fact. My daughters and I are all list-makers who prefer using a combination of digital and handwritten lists to get things done.

Madison Must Photography

Being Present

Days before the wedding, Cassie, Matthew, and our oldest daughter, Allison, arrived. What an incredible feeling to have everyone home! We’ve had very few visitors during the pandemic. I don’t remember the last time our kids were home with us for five days. What a treat! I didn’t want to miss anything. There were times when the girls were off in a corner experimenting with hair and makeup, or Matthew and Steve were in the greenhouse setting up equipment for the ceremony. At those moments, I was an observer, sensing family helping family, hearing laughter, and feeling the warmth of our house full of loved ones. At other times, I was in a doing mode. On Cassie’s wedding day, she asked us to put away our phones. She wanted the wedding photographer to be the only one taking pictures so we could be fully present. How wise. What a gift that was! It made me realize how many being present opportunities there were.

“There were many being present opportunities.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Leaning In

There were so many emotions- joy, happiness, excitement, and sadness too. It was an intense variety of feelings. I embraced them all. While I was overjoyed that the parents, one set of grandparents, siblings, and a few of the bride and groom’s friends were with us in person on the wedding day, the rest of our family and friends couldn’t be there because of pandemic restrictions.  For those who couldn't attend in person, they watched the ceremony live on Zoom. I won’t lie. I missed the physical presence of my brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends. It felt so strange to celebrate a major milestone without them. I recognize that I’m not alone. This year, many people have experienced celebrations differently. With acceptance, I leaned into my conflicting emotions- feeling the joy of being together with the people that could attend and the sadness for those that couldn’t. 

Madison Must Photography

Reflecting

When we go through significant life events, it’s important to make time to reflect on our experiences. There were so many memorable moments and feelings that replay in my mind. I know more will continue to appear, but I thought I’d share several with you.

• Hugging our kids after being physically apart for so long.

• Hearing the sweet sounds of talking, giggling, and laughter fill our home.

• Spending time setting up, eating, and walking in the woods with our family and Matthew’s parents and three brothers the day before the wedding. 

• Experiencing the poignancy of painting Cassie’s finger and toenails the night before her wedding day and remembering how I used to paint her nails when she was little.

• Watching Allison dote over Cassie during the wedding weekend, as she helped with her hair and makeup, and anything she needed.

• Seeing my handsome husband all dressed-up as the Father of the Bride.

• Feeling grateful to meet Matthew’s grandparents and have them with us as they watched their first grandchild marry.

• Bursting into tears when moments before we walked Cassie down the aisle, I saw my mother, brother, and sister on Zoom waiting to watch the ceremony. I missed them so, yet felt their love and support.

• Feeling the swell of emotions as Steve and I walked Cassie down the aisle.

• Watching Matthew’s loving expression and tears as he saw Cassie in her wedding dress for the first time.

• During the ceremony, seeing Cassie and Matthew hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes as tears streamed down their faces.

• Feeling grateful for our new, wonderful son.

• Listening to the beautiful, emotional toast Allison gave to Cassie and Matthew on their wedding day.

• Seeing the joy between Steve and Cassie during their father/daughter dance.

• Watching how our beautiful Cassie seemed to float on air the entire day.

• Sitting down on the sofa with Steve after everyone left, feeling exhausted, elated, and amazed at how quickly the time passed.

• Feeling grateful for messages of love, good wishes, and support from our family and friends.

• Realizing that our little girl is all grown up and married.

• Feeling hope and possibilities for Cassie and Matthew for a life filled with love, connection, and family.

Madison Must Photography

We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest of days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities. These celebratory days with Cassie and Matthew’s marriage affirmed that light, love, hope, and possibilities are present. Have you recently experienced something in your life that has inspired possibilities for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.