We constantly receive internal and external messages. Do they help or hurt you? Have you heard of the 5:1 magic ratio? Research suggests to counteract the sticky Velcro-like negativity bias, it takes approximately five positive encounters, thoughts, or experiences for every negative one.

Consider fortifying your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits. Here are a few ways to build your reserves:

• Create a “Feel Good” file with positive emails, notes, or letters you received from family, friends, clients, or colleagues:

• Keep an ongoing gratitude list

• Connect with nature

• Prioritize self-care

• Spend time with people who energize and uplift rather than drain you

• Display positive reminders in your environment

Today, I am focusing on that last one, the visible messages you see every day. I’m sharing several of my favorites below. I’ve written before about the fidget bowl on my desk. This fun collection of miniature objects combines word reminders, trinkets from places visited, old toys, and visual and tactile delights. Playing with the tiny pieces while I’m in meetings helps me focus. Having uplifting messages front and center enhances my well-being. What encouraging messages will you surround yourself with?

7 Ways the Reminders You Display Will Help You Each Day

1. Bloom Where You’re Planted

Bloom where you’re planted encourages me to embrace the growth mindset anywhere, anytime. Every encounter, action, observation, experience, success, and failure are opportunities to learn, expand, and blossom.

2. Head & Heart

Navigating life’s hiccups and choices can be stressful. “Head & Heart” reminds me to use my cognitive and sensing gifts to support positive decisions and outcomes. While not included in this purple pin, my gut is another guiding element. When I listen, it leads me with a distinct “yes” or “no.”

3. Nourish

My Word of the Year is nourish. This essential encourages me to feed my heart, mind, and body so they feel nurtured, positive, and supported to thrive. My heart wants connection. My mind needs stimulation, and my body wants loving care.

4. You Are Here

While these words are often found to locate yourself on a map, to me, they embody presence. Especially when my mind is racing, and even when it’s not, this message prompts me to pause, notice, and ground myself with where I am, what I’m doing, what I’m feeling, and what I’m experiencing. When distracted, I use these words to gently bring me back, reset, and move on.

“Fortify your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5. Oy Vey!

Years ago, I gave my dad this blue “Oy Vey!” computer key. It became a favorite inside joke between us, and one of the many things that connected us was our shared sense of humor. This message reminds me that things in life have the potential to go sideways. However, my sense of humor can bring a brighter perspective and allow me to laugh at myself during difficult situations.

6. Radiate Positivity

According to the CliftonStrengths assessment, one of my top strengths is Positivity. Seeing the “Radiate Positivity” button helps me with several things:

• It reminds me to continuously develop and live from my strengths.

• My natural inclination towards positivity helps me be resilient and growth-oriented.

• Positivity is ‘catching,’ so my mood can have an encouraging effect on others.

7. Exhale the Bullshit

This new pin has quickly become a favorite. We all experience life ‘stuff’ (aka difficult situations, conflicts, threats, bullshit). During those challenging encounters, you can experience emotional hijacking. Stress triggers are sent to the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing. Your automatic warning system goes on high alert, and your body wants to protect you. Your heart races, your palms sweat, your face flushes, and your breathing turns rapid or shallow.

“Exhale the Bullshit” reminds me to take a deep breath through my nose and a longer exhale through my mouth. Repeating that several times, I soothe my system, access the rational part of my brain, and am better equipped to respond calmly to the circumstance.

How does having positive visual reminders help and influence your day? What helpful messages are in your view? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Letting go is usually intentional. At least, it seems purposeful most of the time for my clients and me. Holding on can create stress, conflict, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, or anxiety. The same can be said for the process of letting go. Thinking about saying ‘good-bye’ to things or situations can be its own type of challenge. However, when we finally let go, it allows for open space, growth, and relief.

I often consider letting go like a muscle that needs exercise and practice. The more you use the letting go muscle, the easier the process becomes. Decision-making goes more smoothly, too, as you set boundaries or rules around what stays or goes.

What happens when you accidentally let go? You might wonder how someone can unintentionally let go like one giant, whoops. I experienced this last week.

You are probably familiar with the term “inbox zero.” Some set a goal to have no (as in nothing, none, nil, zilch) emails in their inbox. Instead of keeping all emails visible, you route incoming emails to specific, organized locations to achieve a clear inbox. They can move to the trash, action, or archive folders along with a cue to follow through on a trusted task list.

Let’s return to my saga. With full disclosure, I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, but I remember that multitasking was involved. I couldn’t repeat the mistake if I tried. But the result was that I accidentally deleted all the emails in my inbox and couldn’t get them back. There were about 100, and I had responded to most but not all of them.

My first reaction was panic. Then I tried to undo the error. In my frenzy, I think I made things worse. So, I stopped. I took several deep breaths and asked myself, “Linda, now what?” There were several options, including getting on the phone with tech support to see if they could help retrieve the deletions. I lacked time, confidence, and patience for that option. I was also in the middle of several deadlines and needed to focus on those instead of my big mistake. I knew how quickly my day could have deteriorated with negative self-talk, paralysis, and frustration. Those weren’t good options.

“Letting go allows for open space, growth, and relief.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I felt calmer when I recognized that some emails could be retrieved through the “sent” email box if needed. In addition, if I missed something important, the sender would hopefully resend it to me. If you sent me an email and I never responded, please resend it. Thank you.

Letting Go: Unexpected Benefits

It’s been over a week without those deleted emails, and it’s been OK as of today. I let go of a lot and discovered some things along the way.

• There is no perfect.

• I’m human and make mistakes.

• Life goes on even without a full inbox.

• The most important things were handled.

• I recognized growth in how I kept my initial panic to a minimum.

• Resilience was visible as I quickly recovered from ‘the incident.’

• Multitasking can be dangerous.

• Appreciate the improved focus with fewer emails visible.

• Be grateful for the empty inbox, even if unintentional.

• Acknowledge the available time doing fun things like planting my small vegetable garden instead of stressing over retrieving emails.

• Find the humor in the situation.

• Remember the big picture.

In the end, letting go, while unexpected, was valuable. I’ve recovered from the mishap, appreciate a less full inbox, and feel lighter and less encumbered.

Have you ever let go accidentally? If so, what happened? What did you discover? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest release (v38) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and better balance. These unique, inspiring, life balance discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Life Balance Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Happier Balance

Does life feel hectic this time of year? As we wrap up one year and head into the next, how can you move forward with a happier, more fulfilling life balance? In Happier Hour – How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most, social psychologist, professor, and researcher Cassie Holmes, Ph.D., shares her ideas on our most precious resource, time. Holmes says, “Our hours and days add up to years and decades, and ultimately our entire lives. How we spend our time defines who we are, the memories we cherish, and how we will be remembered by those we leave behind.”

Backed by research, wisdom, practical advice, and exercises, Holmes brings you through a doable process. You become aware of where your time is going, which activities are most meaningful, and how to use “time crafting” to “piece together your hours to design an ideal week, like piecing together the tiles of a mosaic.” With a focus on joy and meaning, Holmes says, “The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.” What makes your days happier?

2. Interesting Product – Office Balance

With a constant flow of emails, texts, calls, projects, and meetings, office life (be it at home or off-site) can feel anything but balanced. A simple solution to restore calm in this hectic setting is to bring nature indoors. Tons of research supports the positive benefits to our well-being when we’re in or near nature. The Container Store offers a simple solution with the Design Ideas Mini Succulent Planter Magnets. This set of three tiny magnetic plant holders is perfect for displaying small succulents or dried grasses.

While I don’t own the magnets, I have a small air plant in my office in a ceramic pot on a wooden stand that my daughter made. I love having greenery in view. It also brings me joy to care for plants. What helps bring balance to your office space?

“The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.”

— Cassie Holmes, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Article – Noise Balance

In Time’s article, How Listening to Silence Changes Our Brains, authors Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz remind us that the “world is literally louder right now than it’s been at any time in known history.” Research shows how excessive noise causes stress, hearing loss, cardiovascular disease, stroke, depression, and learning lags.

“While the costs of noise are increasingly clear, the power of silence for the mind and body is actually something bigger and deeper than the transcendence of stress or interruption.” Silence can accelerate the growth of brain cells. “The act of listening to quiet can…enrich our capacity to think and perceive.” Whether you meditate, practice yoga, or listen in a quiet environment, your mind and body will benefit from the silence. “In an age of so much noise, silence deserves our attention.” What is a recent experience you had with silence?

4. Interesting Resource – Mood Balance

My friend and colleague, Julie Bestry, is an incredible organizer, researcher, and blogger. In a recent post, she shared a visual breathing app for calming the system. I was intrigued and discovered this other one from eXHALeR designed to help with yoga, meditation, anxiety, or panic attacks. You can adjust certain variables, including the timing for inhaling, holding your breath, and exhaling.

If you want to create an immediate shift in your mood and be more balanced, experiment with the eXHALeR. Breathe in. Hold. Exhale. Hold. Repeat. How do you feel?

5. Interesting Thought – Boundary Balance

Especially during this season, we get asked to do, attend, and gather more. That isn’t necessarily negative, but all the extra doing and saying “yes” to things can create added stress. Setting some boundaries can significantly affect how you navigate the holiday season.

Perhaps you chose to celebrate with a smaller group, take a self-care break between events, or get takeout instead of cooking. There are many ways to enjoy your time and feel more balanced by setting a few well-placed boundaries. What boundaries will you create?

Do you have an interesting life balance discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.