Spring is arriving, and this season often inspires hope-infused feelings. However, we can get stuck even during this joyous time. Have you ever felt stuck? When that happens, do you find figuring out your next step challenging? If so, you’re not alone. Grief, life transitions, negative self-talk, fear, procrastination, exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of information or expertise can prevent forward movement. Next feels elusive.

When I have too many next steps, I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing something, I ruminate about everything I want and need to do. Guess what? I become stuck. Depending upon the situation, I might make a list or chart, talk with a trusted friend, take a walk, or write in my journal. From there, I will take a tiny, doable action step. It’s enough to get me unstuck, build momentum, and journey forward.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. As you’re about to discover, there is power and relief in planning, listening, reframing, and breathing.

I invited an outstanding group of colleagues to share their personal experiences with you. They describe being stuck and the next step that helped them get unstuck. These generous friends include Alison Nissen, Christine Li, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jocelyn Kenner, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Lana Kitcher, Marcy Stoudt, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe a time you felt stuck and the next step you took to move forward.

 13 Remarkable Pros Share How They Make Their Next Step When Stuck

 1. Next Step:  Breathe

“When I get too much in my head, it usually results in feeling stuck. I’m vulnerable when I lounge in bed too long in the morning, dozing in and out of sleep. When this happens, I become captive to swirling thoughts, the effect of which is mental quicksand – the ultimate feeling of being stuck.

I escape the mental quicksand by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, then thinking about one or more things I am profoundly grateful for and creating a positive affirmation for the day ahead. This resets me, and I can move forward with lightness and positivity.

Jocelyn Kenner – Coach & Professional Organizer

2. Next Step:  Plan

“I was losing track of my next steps required by the many projects in which I am involved and also of things I wanted to do for myself & my two businesses.  I did two things. I created a weekly plan of the things I wanted to do day by day for my businesses & projects, which I put inside my planner. Then I decided to use the whiteboard in my office to list the tasks for the current day. Doing these two things has helped me get myself back in action and feeling in control.” 

Diane Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

3. Next Step:  Reflect

“In 2012, due to family emergencies and having to travel overseas to care for loved ones, I put my coaching practice on hiatus. Life took its course. Late fall of 2019, I felt the pull and began to contemplate launching my practice again. As I revisited my services and website, I realized that something had changed. I did not want to begin again where I had left off. I had to rethink how I wanted to work with people. I let go of the past, hit pause, and let inspiration come find me. For a good two months, I reflected, wrote, and explored possibilities. At the end of that period, The Art of New Beginnings was born.”

Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach – Life Coach, Retreats Facilitator, Blogger

4. Next Step:  Change Viewpoint

“‘Alison, that's not how we do it,’ the voice articulated. The words stung and left me upset.  

To stop the fear of becoming stuck when I'm distressed, I cross my eyes and look at my nose. Why, you ask? To remind myself that I can't always see what's right in front of me. 

This simple action prompts me to look at a situation from another viewpoint, one without heightened emotions. Irving Berlin once said, ‘Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.’ Standing back to gain perspective is a choice, and it's how I move forward when I'm feeling stuck.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Co-Founder & Chief Story Officer of Revel Coach

5. Next Step:  Listen

“I recently felt stuck after the death of one of my parents. My next step was to pause to focus on my feelings and my family. And to listen for when my brain and heart were ready to start moving forward again. So I turned to my favorite listening activities: walking, cleaning, and organizing. They worked! While I'm not running full steam ahead, I'm in motion. Having my projects and ideas in Evernote made it easy to pick one to work on. Then, that one thing turned into three things. Interesting how it fueled fresh brain sparks. Just what I needed.”

Deb Lee, CPO® – Digital Productivity Coach and Consultant, Evernote Certified Expert

6. Next Step: Stay Open

“I went from teaching special education to becoming a lead teacher. I had high hopes. About a year into that stressful job, I knew that this job was not good for me. I knew I should retire. But I was frightened I would not be able to support myself and also anxious I would get sick if I stayed. I talked to people who had retired and to friends. Fate intervened, and I saw an article about Professional Organizers. I knew I had found my next career. Whenever I need support, I talk to people I trust.” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker


  

7. Next Step:  Write

“Knowing where to start when contemplating writing a new ebook for one of my blogs has been challenging. But, when I started to write down the points I wanted to make in the ebook, I found that the direction and details came more naturally. Writing things down is how to clear the cloudy fog when stuck. It lightens my energy and allows me to see the steps.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Blogger 

“Sometimes you need outside help...to shake you out of a slump.”

— Lana Kitcher

 8. Next Step:  Check-In

“I love creating content, but perfectionist procrastination over choosing technology sometimes paralyzes my moving from idea to implementation. Once research stops yielding new information, I turn to others for a reality check and catalyst. Years ago, unable to pick a newsletter service, I presented my research and dilemma to a colleague. She encouraged me to pick a particular free trial but also reminded me that whatever I chose, I could always transfer to a different service later — I only had to commit long enough to make forward momentum. You can't edit a blank page; you can't evaluate an untaken step.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author, Blogger

9. Next Step:  Wander

“When my mind is on a negative repeat loop, and I feel stuck, I love to remove mental clutter. Here's how:

1. Go outside without any technology and allow your mind to wander.

2. Once you feel a slight separation from the problem, consider the situation and list everything in and out of your control.

3. Create two to-do lists: 

                        List 1: What actions can you take to move forward? 

                        List 2: What worries or items are out of your control? Place these on "The Universe's To-Do List." 

Taking action is an excellent step towards progress. But, when it's clutter-free - it's a giant leap.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of Nest by Revel

10. Next Step:  Redirect Energy

“I remember a time when I was serving as a volunteer on a committee for an organization that I loved. Over time, I found that my ideas were being discounted, disregarded, and ignored. I felt discouraged and stuck. I finally realized that I was not in control of this situation, and the only way I could move forward was to resign from the committee. I found another way to serve this organization on another committee that allowed me to contribute, and that brought me joy. It turns out my best option was to strike off in a new direction.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

11. Next Step:  Build Team

“In creating an online time management printable for Etsy, I had done my best on Canva and added the final product to Etsy. It was not getting traction and lacked professional product appeal. After a few months, I asked a professional graphic designer to assist.  Right away, we partnered on design and marketing. My go-to strategy to get unstuck is to build a bigger team.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

 

12. Next Step:  Shift Mindset

“That period immediately after the birth of my second child, I was in bed, feeling happy but also wondering how I would break out of my long-held pattern of being very, very cluttered.  I happened to see a segment on a morning show featuring Marla Cilley, known as ‘The FlyLady,’ and I decided to order her book right then and there.  

It turned out her book, Sink Reflections, was a wonderful explanation of how even the most cluttered and distressed person can make a ‘comeback’ into a more orderly and organized existence.  It was a great help to me, but what was perhaps even more helpful was my own decision to make a change for the good of my family and myself.

I encourage anyone who might feel in a similar ‘stuck’ spot that there are so many options to try these days.  All you need to do is decide to make that shift!”

Dr. Christine Li – Clinical Psychologist, Procrastination Coach, Host of the Make Time for Success Podcast

13. Next Step:  Enlist Help

“I became a mom a year ago and was feeling very stuck in my circumstances and my mindset. I had made the decision to reduce my work to part-time and was feeling lost with the transition to motherhood while trying to run my own business as well as a household on many fewer hours and much less sleep. I knew I needed help adjusting, but I wasn't managing to get myself to that point. So I invested in myself by 1) working with Linda and 2) enrolling in a 6-week mindset program. Sometimes you need outside help, new perspectives, and something different to shake you out of a slump.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity Coach, Small Business Consultant

What was the circumstance last time you felt stuck? What next step moved you forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck and want a thought partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients to move forward. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click the purple “How Can I Help?” button below.

The newest release (v38) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and better balance. These unique, inspiring, life balance discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Life Balance Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Happier Balance

Does life feel hectic this time of year? As we wrap up one year and head into the next, how can you move forward with a happier, more fulfilling life balance? In Happier Hour – How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most, social psychologist, professor, and researcher Cassie Holmes, Ph.D., shares her ideas on our most precious resource, time. Holmes says, “Our hours and days add up to years and decades, and ultimately our entire lives. How we spend our time defines who we are, the memories we cherish, and how we will be remembered by those we leave behind.”

Backed by research, wisdom, practical advice, and exercises, Holmes brings you through a doable process. You become aware of where your time is going, which activities are most meaningful, and how to use “time crafting” to “piece together your hours to design an ideal week, like piecing together the tiles of a mosaic.” With a focus on joy and meaning, Holmes says, “The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.” What makes your days happier?

2. Interesting Product – Office Balance

With a constant flow of emails, texts, calls, projects, and meetings, office life (be it at home or off-site) can feel anything but balanced. A simple solution to restore calm in this hectic setting is to bring nature indoors. Tons of research supports the positive benefits to our well-being when we’re in or near nature. The Container Store offers a simple solution with the Design Ideas Mini Succulent Planter Magnets. This set of three tiny magnetic plant holders is perfect for displaying small succulents or dried grasses.

While I don’t own the magnets, I have a small air plant in my office in a ceramic pot on a wooden stand that my daughter made. I love having greenery in view. It also brings me joy to care for plants. What helps bring balance to your office space?

“The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.”

— Cassie Holmes, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Article – Noise Balance

In Time’s article, How Listening to Silence Changes Our Brains, authors Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz remind us that the “world is literally louder right now than it’s been at any time in known history.” Research shows how excessive noise causes stress, hearing loss, cardiovascular disease, stroke, depression, and learning lags.

“While the costs of noise are increasingly clear, the power of silence for the mind and body is actually something bigger and deeper than the transcendence of stress or interruption.” Silence can accelerate the growth of brain cells. “The act of listening to quiet can…enrich our capacity to think and perceive.” Whether you meditate, practice yoga, or listen in a quiet environment, your mind and body will benefit from the silence. “In an age of so much noise, silence deserves our attention.” What is a recent experience you had with silence?

4. Interesting Resource – Mood Balance

My friend and colleague, Julie Bestry, is an incredible organizer, researcher, and blogger. In a recent post, she shared a visual breathing app for calming the system. I was intrigued and discovered this other one from eXHALeR designed to help with yoga, meditation, anxiety, or panic attacks. You can adjust certain variables, including the timing for inhaling, holding your breath, and exhaling.

If you want to create an immediate shift in your mood and be more balanced, experiment with the eXHALeR. Breathe in. Hold. Exhale. Hold. Repeat. How do you feel?

5. Interesting Thought – Boundary Balance

Especially during this season, we get asked to do, attend, and gather more. That isn’t necessarily negative, but all the extra doing and saying “yes” to things can create added stress. Setting some boundaries can significantly affect how you navigate the holiday season.

Perhaps you chose to celebrate with a smaller group, take a self-care break between events, or get takeout instead of cooking. There are many ways to enjoy your time and feel more balanced by setting a few well-placed boundaries. What boundaries will you create?

Do you have an interesting life balance discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about some of the positive mindset changes my clients experience during their virtual organizing sessions. A common theme is going from overwhelmed to unstuck.

Whether clients are overwhelmed or not, all grapple with “What’s my next step?”  This is the intriguing part. How do we figure out what to do next during a virtual organizing session? What do some typical next steps look like?

If you are curious, continue reading. I will share my latest discoveries with you.

How to Figure Out Next

It’s probably no surprise, but figuring out next begins with asking thought-provoking questions and listening carefully. We check in first before we start organizing. With curiosity as our guide, we discuss how things went in between sessions, discover successes and challenges, and find out what’s happening now. Is a current circumstance affecting their energy, mood, or preferences? All of these discoveries go into finding next. 

Once we’ve talked, I can tell if my client is clear about their next step or need help discovering it. If they are unsure, we clarify and discuss several options. It’s always their choice, which is one of the powerful aspects of virtual organizing work. When clients choose what they want to focus on, they own the process and are invested in the outcome. 

What Next Looks Like

Each client has unique organizing goals and needs. Their projects differ in scope and focus. Clients want a range of help from me, including brainstorming, planning, body doubling, focusing, system designing, resource-providing, list-making, and more. While working, we focus on decision-making skills, letting go, mindfulness, awareness, and moving forward one small step at a time. The organizing work happens in their offices (at home and work,) bedrooms, closets, kitchens, pantries, laundry rooms, bathrooms, dining rooms, living rooms, garages and other areas.

“Taking that next step builds momentum.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

During each virtual organizing session, they experience change and progress. Taking that next step builds momentum. Below is a small sample of clients’ next steps and successes they experienced during their one-hour virtual organizing sessions:

• Created a goals list of organizing tasks and projects for every room in the house

• Edited and cleared papers from the office floor

• Brainstormed ideas for the most effective use of the space

• Edited expired make-up and personal care products

• Edited and decluttered items on the bed

• Sorted and organized backlog of mail

• Created a filing system

• Drafted a project to-do list

• Edited and decluttered the pantry

• Cleared out old files 

• Edited and organized a box of papers

• Created a to-do list

• Edited and organized memorabilia

• Organized books

• Edited a stack of magazines

• Edited and organized clothing closet

• Organized mind clutter

You may wonder why I shared this list. It’s simple. Next begins somewhere. While your goal may be huge, big can be overwhelming. But with focus, small blocks of time, and some guidance, you will get there, one paper, box, or decision at a time.

Where did your next step bring you? Did it create the momentum to continue organizing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Madison Must Photography

As I sit down to write, thoughts of love, family, and a wedding swirl around my head and heart. Like a dream, I can’t believe that our youngest daughter, Cassie, married Matthew at our home one week ago. They exuded joy and love. We all felt it. By the end of the day, the back of my head ached from smiling so much. It was a good ache. There was so much love, a sense of wonderful possibilities, and hope for the future. Their celebration was a welcome bright spot in the midst of a challenging year.

My husband and I remained in the blissful wedding bubble for as long as we could. At this point, I have mostly returned to regular life. There are still a few flower bouquets reminding me that a wedding really did happen here, and some thank you notes to write. But other than that, my wedding tasks are complete, and the house is back to its pre-party state. What remains is this inner warmth from this significant time, images of tender moments, feelings of calm, and some lessons learned.

7 Lessons Learned from The Mother of the Bride

Communication

Shortly after Cassie and Matthew’s engagement last May, we started discussing the wedding. Right away, I realized we had different ideas and expectations. I recognized the importance of being open, listening, and remaining respectful of their wishes. After all, it was their wedding day. They chose to organize and handle most things and delegated some aspects to others, including me. We supported them in any way we could. Often that meant listening or offering ideas when asked. Keeping the lines of communication open was essential. 

Flexibility

A valuable life skill when making a wedding, especially during a pandemic, is flexibility. Change was the flavor of the day. The kids made plans and, because of the pandemic, had to alter them more than once. They remained flexible, and so did I. I’ll admit that I’m not naturally flexible and continue to work at it. The pandemic influenced a venue change, the wedding’s scope, the vendors, and the number of guests that could attend. Other changes happened that weren’t pandemic-related but required flexibility. Remaining nimble was a great coping strategy for all of us.

Madison Must Photography

Letting Go

As moms, we literally learn to let go from the moment our kids are born. They leave our bodies after being protectively housed for nine months. And that’s just the beginning. As our kids grow, we continue letting go in many ways. It’s useful to exercise those letting go skills when planning a wedding. There are so many things we can’t control. Recognizing that and letting go of control was key for me. It allowed me to worry less and enjoy more. The wedding was outside. Weather is one of the many things we have no control over. Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful. For example, we ordered a tent with attachable sides, in case it rained. We had control of the tent situation, but not the weather. Luckily, the wedding day was gorgeous. However, the newlyweds’ brunch on the following day was rainy, but the tent sides kept us cozy and dry.

“Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Planning

A lot of thought and organizing went into the wedding weekend. As I mentioned, Cassie and Matthew did all of the event planning. Their Google spreadsheets were amazing! However, my husband, Steve, and I had our lists too. The key was not waiting until the last minute to do things. In the months leading up to the wedding weekend, we made good use of evenings and weekends to prepare the house, clean, edit, organize, and schedule. There’s nothing quite like having a party to motivate you to get things done. I created a master list with separate projects and tasks in each section. Planning and allocating enough time to complete things made it less stressful. It also enabled me to more fully enjoy the process. I also discovered a fun fact. My daughters and I are all list-makers who prefer using a combination of digital and handwritten lists to get things done.

Madison Must Photography

Being Present

Days before the wedding, Cassie, Matthew, and our oldest daughter, Allison, arrived. What an incredible feeling to have everyone home! We’ve had very few visitors during the pandemic. I don’t remember the last time our kids were home with us for five days. What a treat! I didn’t want to miss anything. There were times when the girls were off in a corner experimenting with hair and makeup, or Matthew and Steve were in the greenhouse setting up equipment for the ceremony. At those moments, I was an observer, sensing family helping family, hearing laughter, and feeling the warmth of our house full of loved ones. At other times, I was in a doing mode. On Cassie’s wedding day, she asked us to put away our phones. She wanted the wedding photographer to be the only one taking pictures so we could be fully present. How wise. What a gift that was! It made me realize how many being present opportunities there were.

“There were many being present opportunities.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Leaning In

There were so many emotions- joy, happiness, excitement, and sadness too. It was an intense variety of feelings. I embraced them all. While I was overjoyed that the parents, one set of grandparents, siblings, and a few of the bride and groom’s friends were with us in person on the wedding day, the rest of our family and friends couldn’t be there because of pandemic restrictions.  For those who couldn't attend in person, they watched the ceremony live on Zoom. I won’t lie. I missed the physical presence of my brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends. It felt so strange to celebrate a major milestone without them. I recognize that I’m not alone. This year, many people have experienced celebrations differently. With acceptance, I leaned into my conflicting emotions- feeling the joy of being together with the people that could attend and the sadness for those that couldn’t. 

Madison Must Photography

Reflecting

When we go through significant life events, it’s important to make time to reflect on our experiences. There were so many memorable moments and feelings that replay in my mind. I know more will continue to appear, but I thought I’d share several with you.

• Hugging our kids after being physically apart for so long.

• Hearing the sweet sounds of talking, giggling, and laughter fill our home.

• Spending time setting up, eating, and walking in the woods with our family and Matthew’s parents and three brothers the day before the wedding. 

• Experiencing the poignancy of painting Cassie’s finger and toenails the night before her wedding day and remembering how I used to paint her nails when she was little.

• Watching Allison dote over Cassie during the wedding weekend, as she helped with her hair and makeup, and anything she needed.

• Seeing my handsome husband all dressed-up as the Father of the Bride.

• Feeling grateful to meet Matthew’s grandparents and have them with us as they watched their first grandchild marry.

• Bursting into tears when moments before we walked Cassie down the aisle, I saw my mother, brother, and sister on Zoom waiting to watch the ceremony. I missed them so, yet felt their love and support.

• Feeling the swell of emotions as Steve and I walked Cassie down the aisle.

• Watching Matthew’s loving expression and tears as he saw Cassie in her wedding dress for the first time.

• During the ceremony, seeing Cassie and Matthew hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes as tears streamed down their faces.

• Feeling grateful for our new, wonderful son.

• Listening to the beautiful, emotional toast Allison gave to Cassie and Matthew on their wedding day.

• Seeing the joy between Steve and Cassie during their father/daughter dance.

• Watching how our beautiful Cassie seemed to float on air the entire day.

• Sitting down on the sofa with Steve after everyone left, feeling exhausted, elated, and amazed at how quickly the time passed.

• Feeling grateful for messages of love, good wishes, and support from our family and friends.

• Realizing that our little girl is all grown up and married.

• Feeling hope and possibilities for Cassie and Matthew for a life filled with love, connection, and family.

Madison Must Photography

We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest of days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities. These celebratory days with Cassie and Matthew’s marriage affirmed that light, love, hope, and possibilities are present. Have you recently experienced something in your life that has inspired possibilities for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.