Letting go is usually intentional. At least, it seems purposeful most of the time for my clients and me. Holding on can create stress, conflict, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, or anxiety. The same can be said for the process of letting go. Thinking about saying ‘good-bye’ to things or situations can be its own type of challenge. However, when we finally let go, it allows for open space, growth, and relief.

I often consider letting go like a muscle that needs exercise and practice. The more you use the letting go muscle, the easier the process becomes. Decision-making goes more smoothly, too, as you set boundaries or rules around what stays or goes.

What happens when you accidentally let go? You might wonder how someone can unintentionally let go like one giant, whoops. I experienced this last week.

You are probably familiar with the term “inbox zero.” Some set a goal to have no (as in nothing, none, nil, zilch) emails in their inbox. Instead of keeping all emails visible, you route incoming emails to specific, organized locations to achieve a clear inbox. They can move to the trash, action, or archive folders along with a cue to follow through on a trusted task list.

Let’s return to my saga. With full disclosure, I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, but I remember that multitasking was involved. I couldn’t repeat the mistake if I tried. But the result was that I accidentally deleted all the emails in my inbox and couldn’t get them back. There were about 100, and I had responded to most but not all of them.

My first reaction was panic. Then I tried to undo the error. In my frenzy, I think I made things worse. So, I stopped. I took several deep breaths and asked myself, “Linda, now what?” There were several options, including getting on the phone with tech support to see if they could help retrieve the deletions. I lacked time, confidence, and patience for that option. I was also in the middle of several deadlines and needed to focus on those instead of my big mistake. I knew how quickly my day could have deteriorated with negative self-talk, paralysis, and frustration. Those weren’t good options.

“Letting go allows for open space, growth, and relief.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I felt calmer when I recognized that some emails could be retrieved through the “sent” email box if needed. In addition, if I missed something important, the sender would hopefully resend it to me. If you sent me an email and I never responded, please resend it. Thank you.

Letting Go: Unexpected Benefits

It’s been over a week without those deleted emails, and it’s been OK as of today. I let go of a lot and discovered some things along the way.

• There is no perfect.

• I’m human and make mistakes.

• Life goes on even without a full inbox.

• The most important things were handled.

• I recognized growth in how I kept my initial panic to a minimum.

• Resilience was visible as I quickly recovered from ‘the incident.’

• Multitasking can be dangerous.

• Appreciate the improved focus with fewer emails visible.

• Be grateful for the empty inbox, even if unintentional.

• Acknowledge the available time doing fun things like planting my small vegetable garden instead of stressing over retrieving emails.

• Find the humor in the situation.

• Remember the big picture.

In the end, letting go, while unexpected, was valuable. I’ve recovered from the mishap, appreciate a less full inbox, and feel lighter and less encumbered.

Have you ever let go accidentally? If so, what happened? What did you discover? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Perfect isn’t possible when it comes to entertaining. In fact, perfection is a recipe for undue stress. Letting go of perfect and infusing the situation with humor and intention is one of the lessons I’ve learned over time.

My husband, Steve and I have a long history of hosting events together. For the last 37+ years, we have gathered our friends and family for over one-hundred celebrations and get-togethers including birthdays, Thanksgivings, New Years’, Cajun dances, BBQs, brunches, dinners, cast parties, Bat Mitzvahs, and Passovers. As you might have guessed, we enjoy entertaining.  His parents and mine also loved hosting and were the center and gathering places for both of our families. They were gracious, generous, and inspiring role models. They taught us so much about love, life, teamwork, and hosting.

While it’s lovely to have people in our home, it takes organizing, planning, and preparation. We use a tag team approach and share our responsibilities and tasks. We each have our own event-specific lists that we update from year-to-year. Our lists include things like shopping items, dates to shop, cook times, beverage consumption, and tasks related to house set-up.

Our most recent event was this past weekend when we had 32 people for Passover.  Of all the meals we prepare, this one is the most complex because of the volume of food, multiple courses, and pacing. The cooking and house prep are done in advance over three or four days.

When it comes to entertaining, there are some letting go lessons I’ve learned. 

5 Lessons Learned About Letting Go of Perfect

• Uh-Oh. - Planning is terrific, but you will forget something like an essential ingredient for one of your recipes. That’s OK. Run out to the store, again. Add it to the list for next year. Remember you’re human and let go of being perfect.

• No You Don't. - You don’t have to do everything yourself. If someone asks, “Can I bring something?” say, “Thank you, yes.” Then look at your menu and ask for what you need. Let others participate. Let go of being responsible for the entire meal.

• Help Is Good. - People like to help because it makes them feel comfortable. Be ready to delegate. If your guests want to clear plates, wash dishes, help serve the soup, or refill the ice bucket, say, “Thank you, sure!” It’s gratitude time. Let go of having to do things a certain way and embrace those extra helping hands. You’ll be glad you did.

• The Real Plan. - There will be last minute cancellations, additions, or emergencies (medical and otherwise.) You never know what will happen, but something will happen. Remember that detailed plan I mentioned earlier? Laugh now, because it will change. Let go of exactness. Know that there’s a 99.9% chance you will need to deviate from the plan.

• What's Your Why? - Let go of expectations, but set an intention. One of the things my husband added to his list this year was, “Have fun!” I loved that, so I put it on my list too. Adding this simple reminder was just what I needed. It helped me focus on why we were doing this, which was to enjoy, gather, celebrate and have fun with our family and friends.

The details are significant, but they aren’t everything. They don’t have to be perfect. Remember your why. Allow it to permeate your actions with love, flexibility, and letting go.

Which letting go lessons resonates with you? Do you have others to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

This past week, hundreds of professional organizers and productivity consultants from around the world gathered in Ft. Worth, Texas for the annual National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) conference.  I’ve been in this industry for 26+ years, and while I haven’t gone to every meeting, I have attended many.  It’s always exciting to learn new things, keep a pulse on the industry, hang out face-to-face with wonderful colleagues, and make new friends. The learning sessions are terrific, yet it’s often the conversations between the courses that I enjoy most.

The essential education this year for me was around letting go. That theme and message continued to pop up in unexpected ways. The lessons I came away with are ones that I hope will be helpful for you too. After all, letting go can be quite challenging so adopting other strategies and perspectives can ease the process and our stress. My deepest gratitude to my NAPO, ICD and other colleagues for teaching, sharing, and exploring these letting go lessons with me.

7 Surprising Letting Go Lessons

1. You Thought You Had a Plan

When I travel, I like to organize and get my arrangements set ahead of time. While I can be spontaneous, I’m more of a planner. So months earlier I had arranged my hotel, flights, and ground transportation for the NAPO conference. At 5:50 am, and five minutes before I was leaving my house for the airport, I received a text from Southwest Air saying they had canceled my flight. After my initial shock and a few choice words, I took a deep breath and realized that Southwest makes it very easy to rebook your flight, so no need to panic. However, for some reason, all of Southwest’s trips for that day and the next four days were either canceled or sold out. I searched for a new flight on a different airline. Delta saved the day. Within 15 minutes I had booked a later trip. In turn, I arrived later than expected, but I did get to the conference.

Letting Go Lesson 1:

Let go of the plan and revise it when you need to.

2. Get Out Of Your Way

One of the first sessions I attended was about future thinking or foresight. The “Drivers of Change” brief generated by ASAE and available to NAPO members, delves into various trends that could have an influence on our business in the next ten to twenty years. We looked at some of the broad categories but spent most of our time discussing and brainstorming in small groups about specific topics that were especially relevant for our industry. While I found it fascinating, I also recognized how challenging it was to think that far ahead. As hard as it was to future think, putting my mind in that mode generated some exciting possibilities.

Letting Go Lesson 2:

Let go of difficult to open the door to possibilities. 

3. The Research Says

Another session I enjoyed was the one describing the survey the NAPO research committee conducted. The information was hot off the press and not ready to be fully shared. However, one stat was particularly fascinating and relevant to the work I do with my clients. When asked the people surveyed how they preferred to manage the belongings they no longer wanted, 75% of them preferred to donate the unwanted and 48% preferred to give them to friends or family.

Letting Go Lesson 3:

Letting go is easier when we give our belongings to people that will use and appreciate them.

4. Take A Walk On The Wild Side

I loved the quiet one-on-one conversations with my colleagues that often happened during meals, like one of the planned evening dinners I had. When we arrived at the restaurant, they told us it would be a 45-60 minute wait since we didn’t have a reservation. Waiting didn’t bother us because the Stockyards were a lively neighborhood to explore. We meandered down the block looking at stores, taking in the sights and sounds, and happening upon the Coliseum, which housed a 100-year old rodeo. My friend, Lynne Poulton got very excited. After some recon, which included meeting a rodeo Hall-of-Famer who encouraged us to get tickets, we skipped dinner and spent the evening watching cowboys wrangle, rope, and ride. As they say in Texas, “Wee-haw!”  It was unexpected, impromptu fun and an evening I’ll never forget.

Letting Go Lesson 4:

Let go of supposed to in favor of flexibility as you might miss out on something truly spectacular.

5. Perfection Alert

Professional organizer aka stand-up comedian, Janice Simon presented an excellent workshop about resiliency. I loved her premise that making regular deposits into your resiliency bank will better equip you to handle life’s storms. She also shared that when you are going through challenging times, it’s important to adjust your expectations. Ask questions like, “What really needs to be done?”  Or “What can be cut back?” A quote she shared from Donna Smallin resonated with me. Donna said, “Done is perfect.” 

Letting Go Lesson 5:

Let go of perfection, especially when done is good enough.

6. There Is Always Room To Grow

Sessions featured workshops that addressed the chronically disorganized population. One of these courses was the panel of colleagues Alison Lush, Diane Thompson, Vickie Dellaquila, Carrie Cooper, and Gayle Gruenberg, of ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization.) They shared poignant stories about their clients and the process they went through to help them. The stories were emotional, and at points brought tears to my eyes. The creativity, compassion, generosity, helping spirit, and knowledge that these colleagues embodied are inspiring. What struck me most was they all went through as much learning and change as their clients did. In the process of working with their clients, these organizers learned to let go of their expectations, experiment with alternate organizing strategies, and trust in their clients’ wisdom and resourcefulness. As they let go, their clients stepped forward.

Letting Go Lesson 6:

Let go of being the expert and make space for the wisdom of others to emerge.

7.  Lean In To That Scary Stuff

The last session I attended presented by Nettie Owens was an inspiring (and way too short) workshop about reinventing your business. One of the questions she asked was, “What are you holding onto that is no longer serving you?” She then had us write on an index card, “What do I need to let go of?” along with our response below. I wrote, “doubt.”  Then she asked us to tear up the card, which we obediently did. Once torn, she implored us to toss the pieces up in the air. Think confetti flying. Being the organizers that we were, this made us viscerally uncomfortable. We didn’t want to make a mess that someone had to clean up. Understanding our demographic, Nettie acknowledged our challenge and insisted that we do it anyway. After a short deliberation, I took the plunge and threw my pieces as high into the air as I could. What a liberating feeling! As I tossed the papers, I felt my doubt dispersing too.

Letting Go Lesson 7:

Let go of the stuff that’s holding you back.

As I continue to think about my time away, I know that more letting go lessons will surface. However, in the effort to follow Donna’s advice of “Done is perfect,” I’m going to wrap things up here. Did any of these letting go lessons resonate with you? Have you experienced a different letting go lesson? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The newest installment (v21) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and better balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring life balance-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a fantastic, engaged group. I am grateful for your presence and wisdom.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Balanced Habits

As this year comes to a close and you prepare for the New Year, thoughts about habits, those good and not-so-good ones, begin to surface. Do you want to be more organized, get more exercise, or be less stressed? While you might not be ready to change, you’re likely considering the possibilities. In this affirming, practical read, Atomic Habits – An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, author and speaker, James Clear, shares practical strategies based in biology, psychology, and neuroscience that will teach you how to build improved systems to support better habits.Clear says, “All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.” If you are interested in shifting your balance towards more positive habits, you’ll benefit from reading Clear’s book. He says, “Small habits don’t add up. They compound. That’s the power of atomic habits. Tiny changes. Remarkable results.”

2. Interesting Resource  – Balanced Break

Life is busy. Super busy. Figuring out how (or when) to push that pause button and restore a piece of balance can be challenging. Be Time, a NYC-based company, has figured out a brilliant solution. Their high-end mobile meditation studio (housed in a bus,) brings the break to you. Parked in busy areas, Be Time invites you to “Step in, unplug and just breathe. A calm, quiet, inspiring place for some mind space.” Even though the bus is currently just available in Manhattan, I’m hoping that the concept will catch on to expand to other locations.

3. Interesting Product – Balanced Accessories

It’s no fun hunting for keys, sunglasses, or tissues in the depths of our tote bags. Have you experienced your things entering that deep abyss never to be found again? There’s something downright liberating about creating organization and balance with one simple step. The felt tote bag organizer from My Smart Organizer delivers. This versatile insert, available in an array of fun colors, will help you find your essentials in no time. 

4. Interesting Tech – Balanced Practice

As many of you know, I began practicing mindfulness meditation a few years ago. This daily practice has become an integral part of my life. Starting my day in this way creates more balance, calm, and gentleness towards others and myself. While I continue to take classes from various instructors, I practice guided meditation at home using recordings and apps. I’ve been experimenting with the Insight Timer app, which is available on iOS and Android platforms. Apparently, I’m not the only one that likes the app. They have over five million meditators that also agree. The practices are given by 3,000 teachers and include over 14,000 free-guided meditations that can be sorted by type, length, and a variety of other parameters.

5. Interesting Thought – Balanced Choices

Decision-making is a powerful thing. Each day provides a new chance for healthy or not-so-healthy options. We aren’t robots. We are human. Whether we are eating veggies or sweets, power walking or snuggling up on the sofa, remember to be kind to you. It’s not about perfection. It’s about finding a balance that works for you.

What are your exciting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!