Letting go is usually intentional. At least, it seems purposeful most of the time for my clients and me. Holding on can create stress, conflict, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, or anxiety. The same can be said for the process of letting go. Thinking about saying ‘good-bye’ to things or situations can be its own type of challenge. However, when we finally let go, it allows for open space, growth, and relief.

I often consider letting go like a muscle that needs exercise and practice. The more you use the letting go muscle, the easier the process becomes. Decision-making goes more smoothly, too, as you set boundaries or rules around what stays or goes.

What happens when you accidentally let go? You might wonder how someone can unintentionally let go like one giant, whoops. I experienced this last week.

You are probably familiar with the term “inbox zero.” Some set a goal to have no (as in nothing, none, nil, zilch) emails in their inbox. Instead of keeping all emails visible, you route incoming emails to specific, organized locations to achieve a clear inbox. They can move to the trash, action, or archive folders along with a cue to follow through on a trusted task list.

Let’s return to my saga. With full disclosure, I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, but I remember that multitasking was involved. I couldn’t repeat the mistake if I tried. But the result was that I accidentally deleted all the emails in my inbox and couldn’t get them back. There were about 100, and I had responded to most but not all of them.

My first reaction was panic. Then I tried to undo the error. In my frenzy, I think I made things worse. So, I stopped. I took several deep breaths and asked myself, “Linda, now what?” There were several options, including getting on the phone with tech support to see if they could help retrieve the deletions. I lacked time, confidence, and patience for that option. I was also in the middle of several deadlines and needed to focus on those instead of my big mistake. I knew how quickly my day could have deteriorated with negative self-talk, paralysis, and frustration. Those weren’t good options.

“Letting go allows for open space, growth, and relief.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I felt calmer when I recognized that some emails could be retrieved through the “sent” email box if needed. In addition, if I missed something important, the sender would hopefully resend it to me. If you sent me an email and I never responded, please resend it. Thank you.

Letting Go: Unexpected Benefits

It’s been over a week without those deleted emails, and it’s been OK as of today. I let go of a lot and discovered some things along the way.

• There is no perfect.

• I’m human and make mistakes.

• Life goes on even without a full inbox.

• The most important things were handled.

• I recognized growth in how I kept my initial panic to a minimum.

• Resilience was visible as I quickly recovered from ‘the incident.’

• Multitasking can be dangerous.

• Appreciate the improved focus with fewer emails visible.

• Be grateful for the empty inbox, even if unintentional.

• Acknowledge the available time doing fun things like planting my small vegetable garden instead of stressing over retrieving emails.

• Find the humor in the situation.

• Remember the big picture.

In the end, letting go, while unexpected, was valuable. I’ve recovered from the mishap, appreciate a less full inbox, and feel lighter and less encumbered.

Have you ever let go accidentally? If so, what happened? What did you discover? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Overflowing. Overwhelming. Is letting go on your radar? How many things are you working on right now? How many hats are you wearing? Are you juggling family, work, and personal time? Are you managing projects, shuttling kids, caring for elders, or experiencing a life transition? Does your plate feel so full that your head is spinning? Is this a constant or temporary state for you?

Have you considered the power and relief of letting go? OK. I know you can’t let go of all your responsibilities and commitments. However…

• Is there simply one thing you can let go of, reschedule, or delegate?

• Is there one thing you can rethink, change perspective, or shift?

• If you did, how would that help?

• Would it reduce stress?

• Would you feel more relaxed?

• Would you be less overwhelmed?

“Is there simply ‘one thing’ you can let go of, reschedule, or delegate?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I extended myself the ‘one-thing-let-go’ gift. Instead of writing a longer post this week, I went short like me. I let go of the expectation to write more extensively so I could alleviate some pressure and focus on preparing, hosting, and enjoying our family and friends for Passover.

What one thing can you let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There are times when you’re in a state of flow. You work almost effortlessly on your projects and goals. You lose track of time and are in that creative, exciting phase. At other times, you’re not just stuck but overwhelmed. It feels impossible to move forward and determine your next step. The deluge is heavy, like a huge weight pressing down on you. The list of what needs accomplishing seems so large that it interferes with your focus and motivation. Instead of moving forward, you procrastinate, engage in distractions, or do nothing. Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

Being overwhelmed is the number one reason my clients contact me for help. Organizing their space, time, or stuff can seem insurmountable. We work together with the big picture in mind, approaching it one small step at a time. And you know what? When we do that, we break through the overwhelm barrier and make progress.

My clients aren’t the only ones who get inundated. It happens to me too. I recognized that something had felt off for me this winter. It hasn’t been a typical season in the Hudson Valley. We barely had any snow, which disturbed my sense of balance and seasonal cycles.

Recently, I came across an image and phrase that resonated with me. An author described the feeling of a winter’s snow and wrote, “the quiet is even quieter.” When I read that, I recognized it was what I’d been missing. It’s not that it’s loud where I live. However, a significant snowfall covering the woods with a thick white blanket creates calm, silence, and that long pause. Things stop.

That unique winter quiet settles my mind as a deep, luxurious exhale. The silence helps me reset. Guess what happened? Last week, we finally got substantial snow. I was so excited when I woke up with the backwoods covered in white. I felt lighter, with a positive shift in my energy and mood. The frosted, peaceful landscape reduced my overwhelm and opened my mind enough to figure out what to do next.

A Simple Path Forward

After enjoying my breakfast and sipping my hot mug of coffee, I had an idea for encouraging forward movement. Using a low-tech solution, I grabbed a piece of paper and some pens to make a chart. It took about 10 minutes to create. I listed my upcoming projects for the next several months. It included project names, due dates, brief notes, and the next step for each project. It felt good to get them on paper and out of my head. I experienced an immediate sense of relief seeing this high-level view on a single sheet of paper. But the most significant benefit was the next step column. Rather than listing the bazillion tasks for each project, I listed only one tiny thing to focus on.

This simple exercise propelled me forward. Within a few days, I completed one of the projects. Now I have my roadmap with clear instructions of what to do next for the others.

“Consider the big picture, yet approach it one small step at a time.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I recognize how the snowfall helped me overcome my overwhelm and inspired the chart. However, snowstorm or not, you can use this helpful tool anytime you feel overwhelmed. There are moments when it’s beneficial to do an entire brain dump of all tasks, steps, projects, and thoughts. However, that doesn’t always work when you’re upset. Doing a total brain download can intensify those feelings. When that’s the situation, consider my ‘next-step’ approach instead.

What helps you figure out next when you’re overwhelmed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is it about asking for help? Is it something you do readily? Or, do you tend to do or want to do everything yourself? There is no shame in enlisting help. So why do we procrastinate, stress, and delay getting support? As a professional organizer, I am used to receiving calls from overwhelmed folks who want help. I am also a person that at times, struggles to ask for assistance.

This happened recently to me. My mom died in March. While many of the things around her death I completed, I still have a few things to do. One of those tasks is getting her footstone made. I wanted the same company that made my father’s footstone, help make my mom’s. I obsessed about getting the footstone created and installed. I added a task to my list but kept postponing it. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Or, perhaps ordering the footstone made my mom’s death feel more final. I didn’t move forward or ask for help. I stayed stuck.

And then last week, the day arrived. The cue to work on mom’s footstone project appeared on my to-do list again. I pulled out my file, found the name and number of the monument company, picked up the phone, and dialed. Here’s the incredible thing. Within a few minutes, they knew who I was, where my mom was buried and gave me clear next steps for getting the footstone made. A half-hour later, they emailed me all of the details- the quote, forms to complete, and checks to write.

I had been stressed and obsessing for months. By enlisting help from a professional, I was able to take those next steps. Getting the process started was such a huge relief. It felt like a giant weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe how simple it was and how long I had berated myself for not getting help. One phone call yielded such comfort. 

“There is no shame in enlisting help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Then it hit me that mine and my clients’ experiences are similar. When potential clients contact me, they often are overwhelmed, stuck, and have felt that way for a long time. They describe reasons they procrastinate about getting help, which include:

• Embarrassed for needing help

• Despair that they feel like a lost cause

• Unsure of who to call

• Frustration that they “should” be able to get organized on their own

They feel their disorganization and situation is impossible. However, when you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.

“When you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

My clients make positive shifts during their virtual organizing sessions, and it’s a beautiful change to see. I’ve written about this before with the types of transformations they have during a typical one-hour session. Enlisting help is beneficial. Virtual organizing clients might begin their sessions feeling overwhelmed, but the story doesn’t end there. Here are some recent thoughts clients expressed at the end of their sessions:

• “I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

• “I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

•  “It was kind of overwhelming but easier than I thought.”

• “Saying goodbye to the past- it felt good, cathartic.”

• “Amazing. This is such a good feeling.”

•  “My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

•  “Things feel mentally more manageable.”

•  “This feels so good what we did today. At the beginning of the session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

Like my clients, I felt better and moved forward when I sought out help. When was the last time you reached out for support? What did you experience? Was the help you received beneficial? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.