Posts tagged mom
5 Powerful Ways Learning at an Organizing Conference Encourages Possibilities

What happens when you have so many possibilities? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you get stuck? Are you unable to make decisions or take action? It’s terrific to have options and know there are lots of possibilities. However, when the scope is too large, the choices can feel more like a burden than an inspiration.

Last week, I attended the ICD conference near Boston with over 100 organizing colleagues from around the globe. It felt amazing to be together in person again, be with my colleagues, and meet new friends. We learned from incredible experts during seven 90-minute sessions. It was wonderful, intense, and emotional. There were sessions about dementia, hoarding, neurodiversity, ADHD, anxiety, time management, and mindset.

By the end, my brain felt drippy, like a sponge that couldn’t absorb more liquid. Of course, I want to share everything I learned with you. As I sat to write this, I got overwhelmed by the options and possibilities. So, guess what? I’m dialing it back from my 16 pages of notes to share information from five of the sessions. I hope the ideas open up something for you- a new perspective, reframe, or possibility.

 

5 Powerful Ways Learning Encourages Possibilities

1. DEMENTIA | “I am who I am. I’m just different.”

Beth Nolan, PhD, the Director of Research and Policy for Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care™ (PAC), said there are 100+ causes and types of dementia. One way to help is to understand while dementia “robs” the person of many things, they still have skills and strengths. Identify and focus on those.

My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2013 and passed away in 2021. While many of her abilities were compromised over those eight years, I was always inspired by what remained, like her ability to make music, play the piano, sing, and express love. She was still my mom, just different.

 

 

2. HOARDING | “Hoarding isn’t just a house problem. It’s a mental health problem.”

Dr. David Tolin, the Founder and Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute for Living and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, said Hoarding Disorder became a standalone diagnosis in the 2013 DSM-5. The hallmarks of the disorder are having difficulty discarding or parting with possessions and having a visible manifestation of clutter build up with the home no longer useable for its intended purpose.

For people with Hoarding Disorder, “Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.”

Dr. Tolin shared these statistics:

  • The drive to acquire and save affects 2-5% of the population worldwide.

  • Hoarding Disorder is twice as common as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

  • Hoarding Disorder begins at a young age (6-16) and worsens with age. It does not get better on its own.

While Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most successful treatment methods for Hoarding Disorder, it is not 100% effective. Through continuing research, Dr. Tolin is committed to better understanding the psychology and biology of hoarding behavior and discovering ways to boost CBT’s efficacy.

 

Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.
— Dr. David Tolin

 

3. NEURODIVERSITY | “The value of life can’t and shouldn’t be based on productivity. It leaves a lot of people out.”

Devon Price, PhD, a social psychologist, professor, researcher, author, and proud Autistic person, was diagnosed with autism after finishing his PhD and experiencing “autistic burnout.”

Some of autism’s distinguishing characteristics include sensory input challenges, such as loud sounds and eye contact, which are painful. Processing is slower, but it’s a strength because they catch small details and are more detail-oriented. However, because the world moves fast, it doesn’t support how they process, so they feel more disabled.

Devon prefers identity-first language- “autistic person,” “autistic,” and “disabled person.” He said to avoid “differently abled” or “special needs.”

 

 

4. ADHD | “Successful ADHD women look successful on the outside and feel inadequate on the inside.”

Linda Roggli, PCC, creator of the ADHD Palooza series, a Professional Certified Coach, and author and founder of the A-D-Diva Network for ADHD women 40-and-better said she has an “ADHD brain.” 

The ADHD inattentive type is most prevalent in women. Some distinguishing factors include a busy brain, low energy, high worry, inability to concentrate, being distracted by one’s thoughts, daydreaming, difficulty following through and prioritizing, misplacing things, being talkative, impatient, having low self-esteem, not having great a working memory, making impulsive decisions, and feeling restless.

Roggli said understanding the impact of hormones on women with ADHD is essential. The brain works better with more estrogen. Estrogen affects dopamine. The ADHD brain lacks dopamine. Menopause decreases estrogen by 50% and keeps getting lower.

Most women with ADHD have comorbid conditions or “sidecars.” They include:

  • 30-40% - 1 Depressive episode

  • 50% - Learning differences

  • 10-20% Bipolar

  • 30% OCD

  • Up to 50% - Addictions

 

 

5. ANXIETY | “The more you care, the more you worry. Anxiety means I care. You can’t teach people not to care. You can only teach how to manage anxiety.”

Dr. Alicia Clark, a psychologist and author of Hack Your Anxiety, said 40% of people experience persistent stress, and only 36% get help. She also said:

  • Women suffer from anxiety 1.6 times more than men.

  • Post-pandemic, anxiety and depression increased by three times.

  • The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and decreases working memory.

Anxiety shows up in the “emotional landscape” of the organizing work we do with our clients. These can appear as fear of change, failure, facing emotional memory of things, letting go, and making mistakes.

Dr. Clark described four forms of anxiety – Whisper, Chatter, Nagging, and Yelling. She explained they are not all bad. Chatter anxiety is referred to as “good stress.” You can reframe anxiety and recognize that it drives motivation. She suggests using “anxiety to change what is in your control,” focusing on progress, reframing setbacks as part of the growth process, and getting adequate sleep.

 

Possibilities open up when we understand more about our psychological, emotional, and biological states. I was deeply moved by the presenters, the stories and insights they shared, and how they connected to many of my clients. It is a privilege to be part of their journey. I have the utmost respect and admiration for my clients’ determination and how they face their challenges.

What possibilities appeared for you? Did you discover any surprises? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
Celebrating Moms Every Day: Clutter, Chaos, and a Heart Full of Emotions

On this beautiful spring day, I am grateful to all the amazing moms who have mentored, raised, and taught me how to love and be loved, be a parent, caretaker, and friend. Motherhood isn’t all smooth sailing, as every parent will admit. It’s messy, confusing, and at times, clutter-filled. However, being a parent is also joy-inducing. Helping our kids to grow, explore, and become has been and continues to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

I learned about motherhood from the best- my mom and her two sisters, Aunt Bert and Aunt Ruthy. These incredible women who exuded love and encouragement are now gone. I miss our soulful conversations, giggle sessions, shared meals, hugs, and quiet times together. While they are no longer here, their love remains.

They helped guide me when I became a mom 33 years ago. My heart expanded and grew again when, two years later, our second child was born. I never understood how fiercely my mom loved me until I became a parent. I adore our daughters, Allison and Cassie. I can’t imagine life without their loving presence. Seeing them blossom into incredible people inspires me and makes me hopeful for our future.

I am filled with gratitude, love, and sadness on this Mother’s Day. I’m grateful to the moms who raised me, my daughters, who continue to teach me, and my husband, Steve, an amazing parenting partner. These relationships fill my heart with so much love.

I’m sad because my mom and aunts are gone. Aunt Bert, the last of the “Simon Sisters,” died suddenly last week. I’m still wrapping my head around this profound loss. 

I am grateful to all the amazing moms who taught me how to love and be loved.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Whether you are a mom or know a wonderful mom, I hope you will take the time to celebrate a beautiful mom in your life. Wishing all the moms, aunts, and grandmothers a happy, love-filled Mother’s Day!

Is there a special mom you’d like to tell us about? Do you have any mom stories you’d like to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.


 
Celebrating 30 Astonishing Years, Taking More Risks, and Embracing Your Fresh Start

As I began writing about fresh starts and the New Year, I thought about how life changed significantly for me 30 years ago. With two babies and a regular commute to New York City for my job in the computer graphics industry, I dreamed of starting my own business. This month marks my 30th anniversary of launching Oh, So Organized!

When I was a young mom juggling work, family life, and two young kids, I recognized that my organizational abilities helped me navigate life with less stress. Other moms often asked, “How are you managing everything?” While I was ‘born organized,’ I realized organizing was a teachable skill I could share with other parents.

After much deliberation, I left my computer graphics career and combined my visual arts expertise, business background, love of helping people, and organizing abilities to launch Oh, So Organized! It was a risky decision, yet I’m happy I took it.

Taking Risks

I’m reminded of a story one of my clients shared about taking risks. Especially if you’re thinking about change as you enter this new year, I hope you find encouragement in this story.

When lobsters grow to be about one pound, they instinctively know they are facing a crisis. They have lived in a shell that protects them but inhibits their growth.

To mature, the lobsters must shed their old shells and grow new ones, which takes about two days. This isn’t long, but they are left naked and vulnerable during that time.

Other sea creatures may eat the naked lobster, or waves may slam it against a rock and damage it. Yet there is no alternative. The lobster must endure two days of risk to grow a new shell and become mature.

Humans often have to do that too.



Celebrating 30 Years

I had no idea what an amazing journey I would have when I left the security of a job with medical benefits and a steady paycheck. Talk about shedding my old shell to grow a new one. Wow! In these past three decades, I’ve continued to shed and grow. Each transition and change I was willing to make opened doors for new experiences, clients, learning, growth, and opportunities.

I remember when being in business meant you needed at least a business card, phone, and fax number. That morphed into adding an email address. After that, having a website was a cornerstone of any business. My first website was launched in 2001 and was redesigned several times, with the most recent revamp in 2020.

The business has several aspects to it. There is the business of running a business, organizing work with clients, and being a participant, resource, and volunteer in the organizing industry. In each of these areas, I experienced tremendous opportunities for growth, learning, and giving. There are too many highlights to include (or remember,) but here are several:

  • 1993- Gave my first newspaper interview in December 1993, which connected me with new clients for years and taught me the value of PR. Since then, I’ve been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, HuffPost, Westchester Magazine, and many more media outlets.

  • 1994- Wrote and mailed out my first ‘snail mail’ quarterly newsletter, which I still send to a selective group.

  • 1995- Presented at the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) conference in Dallas, met industry expert and thought leader Judith Kolberg, and learned about chronic disorganization.

  • 1999- Asked to launch and lead the NAPO-NY area Golden Circle group for veteran organizers, which I ran for 8 years.

Let your past experiences fuel your fresh start.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Gratitude & Fresh Starts

None of this would have been possible without the love, support, guidance, and trust of my family, friends, clients, colleagues, mentors, teachers, and guides. While 30 years is a milestone, it’s not an end. It’s the beginning of this year and many more to come.

My deepest gratitude to all the incredible people I’ve developed relationships with and met along the way. To my clients, I thank you for your ongoing trust in allowing me into your lives and being part of your organizing journey. I love helping and supporting you. To my colleagues, I am grateful for your wisdom, generosity, friendship, and guidance. To my family and friends, your ongoing encouragement, support, and love has helped me grow and thrive. I wouldn’t be here without all of you.

How will you make the most of your fresh start as you dive into this New Year? What are you excited about? What will you let go of? Where do you want to give your time and attention? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
What Can You Easily Let Go of Now to Reap One Astounding Harvest?

The last few weeks have been flowing forcefully with a mixture of highs and lows. How have they been for you? I had the joy of speaking at the 3rd International Virtual Summit for Virtual Organisers and exchanging ideas with colleagues from around the globe. On the other end of the emotional spectrum, I experienced the profound loss of my brother-in-law, Larry, while simultaneously marking the first anniversary of my mom’s passing and the tenth anniversary of my dad’s.

When we lose our loved ones, a certain amount of letting go happens because their physical presence ceases to exist. However, they remain with us through our stories, memories, and dreams.

Last month, I read something inspiring that author Todd Henry wrote. He asked,

“What kind of harvest do you want to reap a year from now? And what seeds are you planting right now that will increase your chances of seeing those results?”

When we think about the “harvest” we want to reap, it’s as much about the seeds we nurture as it is about letting go of those things that hinder growth. I often see this with my clients. Their goal is to declutter, let go, and get organized. Clear, calm physical and mental space is the harvest they seek. Yet, it’s essential to let go of some belongings, unhelpful habits, and negative self-talk to get there. The goal is clear, but the journey can be challenging. Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.

Progress happens when we finally lean into letting go.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Circling back to the highs and lows of these past weeks, I think about how they relate to reaping. When I pivoted my business to virtual organizing, I planted various seeds that led to beautiful harvests, including new clients, speaking engagements, and exciting business and media opportunities. I let go of how I used to work, stayed flexible, and reimagined my organizing business. I continue to plant and nurture new seeds as I navigate the changing landscape.

When Larry died on the heels of my mother and father’s anniversaries, I thought about the relationship seeds I planted for all of these decades. Those were nurtured and resulted in close, loving bonds. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, even though my heart aches as I let go. There will be no more phone conversations, hand-holding, or hugs. Instead, I will remember my loved ones in the scent of the pine needles, the laughter at silly jokes, and the road trip quests for homemade pies. 

We plant seeds and nurture them. We lean in and let go. What can you let go of to accomplish the goals you seek? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.