Proactive change is a fascinating thing. It’s the type of change you seek when you desire a shift in your life. You might have identified an area you want to improve, a behavior you want to stop, or a wish you want to manifest. You are ready for a transformation but may feel overwhelmed with where to begin or what to focus on. Change is possible through desire, small steps, and support.

This week, I attended the educationally stimulating ICD Virtual Conference, “Shining a Spotlight on ADHD.” There were three terrific speakers- Melanie Sobocinski, PhD, PCC, Sharon Saline, Psy.D, and Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA. They shared a wealth of information. I’m focusing on three ideas I learned about change that I thought would be especially helpful.

3 Useful Changes

1. Task Activation

Have you ever wondered why a task isn’t happening? In Melanie Sobocinski’s presentation, Mastering the ADHD Trifecta to Manage Task Salience, she said the key to activation hinges on using strategies in three areas:

• High Interest – May need to be boosted or toned down

• Urgency – Can be overused, but can be beneficial when used in small doses

• Other People – Can provide support, including focus and problem-solving, or can be an obstacle if it erodes the client’s autonomy

Task activation can be improved by understanding which elements are interfering. While Melanie shared excellent strategies for each area, there was one for High Interest that caught my attention.

To boost “Interest,” you can introduce novelty with a micro-change. Melanie shared a worksheet by Casey Dixon, PCC, who defines micro-change as “the smallest possible change you can make to have a task or solution feel new again.” These tiny changes will “catch your brain’s attention and help a task feel fresher and more rewarding, without creating utter chaos.”

Use Micro-Change to Introduce Novelty

• Try a new tool or resource, such as a new app.

• Change your location or placement of objects, like working at a coffee shop.

• Select a new color for writing with or on.

• Use a new sound for alarms.

• Adjust your position or lighting by walking during a call or switching the lighting intensity.

2. Confidence Formation

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or lacked confidence in social situations? Are you curious about one strategy that can change your experience? In Sharon Saline’s presentation, Strategies and Solutions for Social Anxiety in Neurodivergent Adults, she described social anxiety disorder as a “debilitating fear or judgment, humiliation, or rejection.” There can be a “disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated perception of themselves.”

Sharon delved into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), Perfectionism, and Imposter Syndrome. One of the strategies she offered when discussing Imposter Syndrome was to develop and name your “inner ally.” Negative self-talk can run rampant. Call upon your inner ally to provide support, compassion, and belief when you’re feeling nervous, doubtful, or ruminating with unhelpful thoughts. Sharon calls her ally “Tina Trailblazer.” What name will you give yours? What words of support will they offer?

While I haven’t named my ally or identified her as such, I have relied this year on my 2024 motto to lift me when I run into a challenge. Her voice says, “You got this.” Those words help me get over myself and move forward with confidence. After learning about the inner ally concept, I feel inspired to give my ally a name.

“Yes starts the process of change; Yet keeps it going.”

— Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

3. Sleep Foundation

Do you get enough sleep? Is that an area of your life you want to change and improve? Ari Tucker’s presentation was ADHD Makes Sleep Worse – And We Probably All Need More Sleep. He said, “No one is bringing their A-game after a bad night of sleep.”  

Lack of sleep negatively impacts mood, efficiency, effectiveness, focus, and attention. Consider how you feel after good or bad sleep days. There are many solutions for sleep deprivation, which include establishing a consistent bedtime, limiting caffeine, minimizing kid and pet disruptions, or stopping naps. For more strategies, read Ari’s ADDitude article, 9 Sleep Deprivation Solutions for Adults with ADHD.

While there are numerous ways to address good sleep hygiene, Ari suggests focusing first on quantity. If you establish the ‘right’ number of sleep hours you need, the quality of your sleep will probably be fine. If the quantity of sleep is good and you’re still having sleep challenges, then it’s worth investigating your sleep quality. Talking with a doctor who can advise about any medical challenges affecting your sleep could be beneficial.

Small changes in your sleep habits can significantly improve your daily experience.  

“Partial progress is still progress.”

— Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

Which ideas resonated with you? Are there areas of change you want to focus on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with the changes you desire, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is doable, especially with support.

Rumination is a common cognitive pattern that feeds on negative thoughts and worries. Noom, a behavior change wellness company, says, "Rumination is thinking repetitively about causes, processes, and consequences of something that’s happening or happened...It's focusing on the problem over and over again instead of looking for solutions."

To improve your mental well-being and ability to move forward, shift from ruminating to focusing on solutions. Help is here.

6 Self-Help Strategies to Stop Ruminations

1. Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness to help develop awareness when you're ruminating. Pay attention to your thought patterns and notice when you're stuck in negative loops. Self-awareness is the first step in breaking this cycle.

2. Problem-Solving Techniques: Once you notice you're ruminating, shift your thinking towards problem-solving. Instead of dwelling on the causes or consequences of a problem, focus on finding solutions.

3. Positive Visualization: Visualize the desired outcome rather than getting stuck in the negative aspects. Imagine what a successful resolution looks like and how it would feel. This positive visualization can stop the negative thought loop and motivate you to take action.

4. Time-Limited Reflection: Give yourself a specific amount of time to reflect on the causes and consequences, but set a timer. Once the time is up, switch your focus to solutions. This technique helps prevent excessive rumination.

5. Action-Oriented Approach: Take small, actionable steps toward solving the problem. No matter how tiny, each action will build momentum and confidence.

6. Growth Mindset: Consider what you can learn from the situation. Challenges and setbacks provide helpful insights that can be used in the future.

“To improve your mental well-being and ability to move forward, shift from ruminating to focusing on solutions.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5 Ways Virtual Professional Organizers Can Help

What if you want additional assistance to break your rumination cycle? Virtual professional organizers can provide valuable help, especially when you're overwhelmed or stuck in those negative loops. Here are five ways organizers can help:

1. Objective Perspective: A professional organizer can offer an unbiased viewpoint and help you view things differently. 

2. Expertise: Professional organizers are skilled in organizational strategies, problem-solving, and collaborating. With additional support, you will move forward with less stress and more ease.

3. Accountability: Having an accountability buddy is an effective strategy for making progress. A virtual professional organizer can help you set goals, track progress, and encourage positive actions.

4. Customized Solutions: Organizers provide personalized strategies to address your specific challenges and to help create a more organized and positive environment.

5. Flexibility: With virtual professional organizers, you can access their services from anywhere, making it convenient and flexible to fit into your schedule and location.

I encourage you to find a virtual professional organizer who can help with your goals and needs and who you feel comfortable working with. They can be a valuable partner in your journey for less ruminating and more solving.

How can I help? Contact me, Linda, at 914-271-5673, linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here.

Do you know Jonathan Larson’s iconic “Seasons of Love” song from the musical “Rent”? It begins with “five-hundred, twenty-five thousand, six-hundred minutes,” the number of minutes a year. He asks, “How do you measure, measure a year?” Jonathan continues with questions about how to measure a year in the life and the life of a woman or a man. Every time I hear it, this beautiful ballad reminds me of how precious time is. It brings me to tears.

Our time is limited, so what we choose to do with it and how we acknowledge and appreciate it matters.

In Happier Hour, Cassie Holmes shares several “time crafting strategies” which encourage focusing on positive experiences. She proposes that making time to do this will bring you more clarity, satisfaction, and happiness.

One strategy she learned from her friend who practices it with her kids on their car rides home from school. I encourage you to try it with your kids, partner, friends, or colleagues. You can also do this as a solo practice. I slightly modified the concept for our purpose and am sharing the three-part practice with you.

Effective Time Crafting Strategy

1. The Rose – Something Good

Share something good that happened. This immediately focuses your thoughts on the positive and encourages gratitude for the time you are in now.

2. The Thorn – Something Bad

Share something crummy that happened. This helps develop problem-solving skills and acknowledges that life isn’t only rosey. Challenges are part of life.

3. The Bud – Something Exciting

Share something you are excited about. While it’s terrific to be mindful and in the present moment, looking to the future with happy anticipation extends your joy quotient and enhances your time.

“Time passes in the blink of an eye.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Here is an example of my rose, thorn, and bud.

• Rose – I had a productive virtual organizing session with a new client and loved helping her accomplish her session goal.

• Thorn – I couldn’t make it through the yoga class because I wasn’t feeling well.

• Bud – I’m so excited we’re going to Turks & Caicos to celebrate our 40th Anniversary!

Time passes in the blink of an eye. Acknowledging what you are grateful for and learning from the challenges can enhance and bring clarity to your days.

Are you making time to reflect? What are your rose, thorn, and bud? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Seasons of Love - RENT (2008 Broadway Cast)

Do you ever feel like the universe sends you a message you need to hear? It happened to me this week. Interestingly, what I received related to the letting go theme I’m writing about this month.

You might have read about last week’s letting go mishap when I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. I recovered, only to be challenged by another ‘adventure’ this week. It’s a doozy! Clearly, the universe thinks I need more letting go practice.

Midweek, I woke up with 500+ other neighbors to the surprise of no Internet or phone due to “cut fibers.” Our service provider assured me it would be fixed within 24 hours, which seemed reasonable. However, I was on a deadline. I was putting the finishing touches on a Zoom workshop being presented the following day. While I had no choice in the technology glitch (it happened and was being worked on,) I did have a choice in how I responded.

There was some initial panic, where I engaged in numerous “what if?” scenarios.

• What if it’s not fixed in time and I can’t present my workshop?

• What if I can’t access the information I need to compile my notes?

• What if the calm day I planned is turned upside down?

• What if…?

After the panic, technology assessment, and the realization that I could do nothing at that moment, I started letting go. I talked calmly to myself so I could switch gears and put my energy toward completing my workshop notes. I couldn’t afford to have my attitude sabotage the day. Instead, I focused on what I could work on. I let go of what I had no control over, did some creative problem-solving, and stopped the worry-stress-negative self-talk-loop.

I went to Starbucks in the afternoon for Internet access and a much-needed coffee break. I checked a few resources for my notes and caught up on email. I sat by the river and walked down the block to smell the fragrant lilacs. These actions kept me calm and focused.

“Let go of what you have no control over.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

By the evening, I finished my workshop notes and made alternate plans for presenting if I had no Internet the next day. I also realized how much more I accomplished without interruptions or distractions from the Internet, social media, and the phone.

Are you curious about what happened? When I woke the next day, the Internet and phones were restored. I gave my workshop, which went well, with good attendance and participation. Can you hear my giant exhale?

Life is full of surprises and curve balls. You can’t anticipate when they’ll arrive or what they’ll be. But as always, you do have a choice in how to respond. You can get stuck and paralyzed by the emergency or let go to allow focus, resilience, creativity, and growth to thrive.

How does letting go show up in your life? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.