Posts in Ask the Expert
Ask the Expert: Felice Cohen & Thoughts About Clutter
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Dynamic thought leaders are featured for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. In the past, we’ve spoken with experts including Todd Henry about next steps, Joshua Becker about fresh starts, David Allen about time management, and Gretchen Rubin about life balance. For May, I’m excited to have with us author, professional organizer, speaker, and Holocaust educator, Felice Cohen to share her insights about clutter.

Several months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Felice when we taped an organizing segment for the “Let’s Talk With Jodi!” show, airing this June.  Aside from being fascinated by Felice’s tiny apartment living experience, I enjoyed her wonderful sense of humor and practical ideas about organizing. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Felice Cohenis an author of five books, a professional organizer, motivational speaker,  and Holocaust educator. You might have seen Felice in the YouTube video of her 90-square foot Manhattan studio. She moved into that small space for one reason: the low rent allowed her to quit her full-time job and finish writing her first book. She planned to stay only one year, but something happened during that time. Her life improved. 

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When the YouTube video went viral, people asked for her advice on organizing and decluttering, and praised her philosophy about “living large” in a small space. That was the motivation for her second book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), which tells how living tiny made her life larger, but it also offers lessons on how to live the life you want in any size space.

You can connect with Felice on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, blog, or website.


Linda Samuels: You pursued your dream of moving to Manhattan and becoming a writer. To afford that life, you chose to live in a tiny space with a minimal amount of stuff. What is one of the lessons you learned about living clutter free?

Felice Cohen:In truth, I planned only to stay one year in that tiny space, but at the end of that first year, I discovered that living tiny and living with less gave me more. More time to do what I loved like writing, cycling, going to the theater, traveling. Plus, my stress went down. I no longer had to work long hours at a job I didn’t love to pay for extra space I didn’t need. As a result, my happiness went up, and I wound up staying 5 years.


Linda: In your book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), you talk about the “Buh bye” concept, which you found helpful when you worked with organizing clients. Can you describe what it is and what made it useful?

Felice:Getting rid of stuff can be hard. We are attached to things for many reasons, some because they’re sentimental or because we think we might need them. The “buh bye” concept adds humor to what can be a tough activity. When my clients say, “buh bye” out loud as they put something into the giveaway pile or in the trash, it not only lightens the mood, but it empowers them as though they’re saying, “I don’t need you. Buh bye!”


Linda: Some of us tend to accumulate more than we release, which can result in clutter. Can you share some advice to encourage us to let go?

Felice:Start by asking yourself: “What do I want my home to look like?” Everything in its place? No piles on the counters? Closets you can open without the fear of something falling on your head? Keep that image in mind as you work. Remind yourself this is your home, you should be happy there. It’s not easy to get out from under clutter, but it’s doable. Take baby steps. Also, as we grow up and get older, our lives change, and so do our tastes and passions and goals. You might be holding onto things from a previous chapter in your life. By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.


Linda: What is your most surprising discovery about clutter?

Felice:About how clutter has a huge effect on people, both mentally and emotionally. Clutter can cause depression and stress. It can also keep you from being productive and happy. Many people want to get rid of the clutter, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know where to begin. Seeing clutter also tells your brain “you should clean this up” and makes you feel bad for not doing it. The trick is not to beat yourself up.


Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around clutter?

Felice: I’m a very sentimental person so holding onto things from my past is my Achilles heel. Things like letters from friends and my varsity high school jacket. This stuff is still in my childhood bedroom on Cape Cod where I now spend my summers. At the beginning of every summer, when I get to my parents’ house, I spend a few hours the first weekend going through all of it. And every summer I get rid of a lot. I’m down to 2 totes from 10. Sometimes it takes us a while to get rid of stuff. Every year I get further and further from that time in my life, and it gets easier to let it go. 


Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about clutter that I haven’t asked?

Felice:  At the end of the day it’s not about the clutter, but about you. If you’re okay with the piles and the disorganization, fine. But if you’re not, do something about it. It’s not easy, but it’s not rocket science. Put on music that gets you moving and try to get rid of 5 things a day, whether for trash or donation. After a week that’s 35 things. That’s a lot.


Thank you, Felice, for joining us. You shared so many inspiring ideas and showed us that for you having less clutter and space equated to lower stress, more happiness, and time to pursue what you loved doing. It’s clear that you understand how letting go of things can be challenging. I love your suggestion to release five items a day and notice how quickly that yields significant results. As you said, “By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.”

Join Felice and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?

 
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Ask the Expert: Amy Deagle
Amy Deagle

Amy Deagle

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for our “Ask the Expert” interview series. This year we’ve spoken with Whitney Johnson about success, Cameron Gott about enlisting help, Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For October, I’m excited to have with us marketing strategist and coach, Amy Deagle to share her insights about possibility thinking.

As I mentioned during last month’s interview, one of the perks of being active on social media is meeting interesting people that I might not have met otherwise. That’s how I met Amy. Her positive attitude and possibility mindset caught my attention. I wanted to learn more about her ideas for suspending doubt and thinking bigger, so I invited Amy to join us. Before we begin the interview, here’s more about her.

Amy Deagle is a Personal Brand Strategist and Business Coach for networkers who are ready to step up and claim their spot as the CEO of their business, stand out from the competition and help more people than they ever thought possible. Through her proprietary Possibility to Prosperity System™ and Credibility Booster Formula™ she helps others create one of a kind, obsession-sparking businesses and brands to magnetically attract publicity, success and sales. When she’s not transforming girl-next-door businesses into A-List’er brands, she’s obsessing over fabulous stilettos, binge watching Scandal or two-stepping her way to the front row of country music concert. You can connect with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or website.

Linda Samuels: As a self-described “Lifestyle Designer,” you help others pursue a “life of audacious possibility.” What are some ways to create an environment that nurtures possibility thinking?

Amy Deagle: Make sure that you have your mind in line. By that I mean, make sure you are filling up your brain with positivity and affirmations. Drown out the negative nelly in your head. To start imagining a life of audacious possibility you need to first believe that it is possible for you.

Linda:  What is one obstacle we might encounter? 

Amy:Mindset gunk. We are our own worst enemy. Getting out of your own way and overcoming resistance is a daily battle, but you must take action everyday towards your goal.

Linda:  What are some techniques or questions to ask for imagining possibilities?

Amy:

  • If anything were truly possible what would I want for my life?

  • If no one was going to be mad, disappointed or upset, how would I actually want to spend my time?

  • What service could I provide to the world if I didn’t care what anyone else would think?

  • If I had unlimited funds for a year, to spend how and when I wanted, with the caveat that I must do something of service for the world, what would that be?

  • How would I spend my free time?

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around embracing possibilities?

Amy: I have a horrible negative nelly in my head. She is something fierce. It is a daily battle to make sure that I don’t let that negative, scared piece run my life. But even with fear, you just have to jump. You are never going to know what is possible unless you try.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about the possibility mindset?

Amy: As soon as you think you have one path figured out, another one pops up that is even bigger, even better than what you could have possibly imagined … possibility is unlimited … once you start reveling in that mindset, new opportunities and possibilities unfold effortlessly.

Thank you, Amy for joining us. I’m sure that many of us relate to the battle between suspending negative messages and encouraging positive ones to thrive. As you mentioned, sometimes we need to push forward anyway, even when we’re afraid or doubting ourselves. I also like the questions you posed, which helps us get out of our own way, suspend our fears, and play the “possibility” game. And my new favorite term, "mindset gunk." We have to floss the brain of that stuff, right?

Join Amy and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?

 
Ask the Expert: Whitney Johnson

The “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Cameron Gott about enlisting help, Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For September, I’m thrilled to have with us innovation expert, Whitney Johnson to share her insights about success.

One of the perks of being active on social media is there’s the opportunity to meet interesting people that you might not have met otherwise. One of my Twitter buddies introduced me to Whitney through her book, Dare, Dream, Do. I read it, loved it, and couldn’t wait to interview her for this series. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Whitney Johnson is a leading thinker on driving innovation via personal disruption, co-founder of Clay Christensen’s investment firm, and was an award winning Wall Street equity analyst and stock picker. She is a regular contributor for Harvard Business Review and the author of Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen When you Dare to Dream. You can connect with Whitney on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google+, blog or website. 

 

 

 

Linda Samuels:  On your website you wrote, “I see the world as a series of opportunities to invest– in stocks, in ideas, and in people. I believe my true mission is to help people ‘disrupt themselves’ and build a remarkable and surprising future.” What are some essential success ingredients?

Whitney Johnson:  Ah, success.  My definition of success has changed over the years.  When I was younger, it was all about the outcomes.  Would I make the tennis team?  Get into the right college?  Get a prestigious job?  Which I think is normal.  From a developmental perspective, we need concrete goals.  But, I’m discovering that a lifetime of success involves showing up.   Not in a “here I am, therefore I deserve” kind of way.  But in deciding that I want or care about something enough to do the work.   And to then NOT sabotage myself.  So that if it doesn’t happen, I have no excuses. Whether it’s the dream of giving a great speech, launching a successful investment fund, or being a good parent.  The surprising truth here is that even when I fail, there is a thrill and deep satisfaction in knowing I have given it my all.

 

Linda:  What are some obstacles we might experience when pursuing success? 

Whitney:  Entitlement -- The opposite of showing up.  The thing about entitlement is it comes in lots of clever guises.  Many of us reflexively think “Kids. Now they are entitled.”  But all of us struggle with entitlement.  Think about when a colleague gets a well-deserved opportunity. You are genuinely happy for them.  But there is a piece of you that snivels, “Why didn’t I get that opportunity?  Why do I even bother trying?”  I know I’ve felt this way – just last week, if you’re wondering.  Failure to acknowledge and see abundance in another person’s success is a form of entitlement.

 

Linda:  In your book, Dare, Dream, Do, you emphasize the importance of dreaming. What is the connection between dreaming and success?  

Whitney:  When we dream, we are hungering for a better life.  And when we dream, we become problem solvers, letting nothing stand in our way.  Dreaming is at the heart of disruption.

 

Linda:  What are traits successful people have in common?

Whitney:  There are (3) traits I think are especially important.  Showing up, as I’ve mentioned.  Also, the ability to persuade, meaning you can help people see your vision for a remarkable future.  And a growth mindset, the belief that our abilities are not innate and fixed, but that with practice and perseverance we can improve.

 

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal success challenge? 

Whitney:  Being a mother.  Our children are 18 and 14 respectively.  Being a mother requires me to ‘show up’ – no performance or posturing.  It is messy, and scary, and I frequently feel downright inept.  But with each passing year, I am ‘showing up’ more, and my relationship with my children and husband improves – so according to my metrics, I would say I am successful.

 

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about success?

Whitney:  It is elusive (the brass ring doesn’t really exist) and potentially ever present; every day I get to decide if I will be fully in my life, to show up. 

 

Thank you, Whitney for being here with us. I love the way you talk about success with such clarity and humanity. Your idea of “showing up” resonated with me, especially in the context of when I was preparing a few weeks ago to attend my first conference as ICD President. I realized that while I could stress and prepare about getting everything “right,” what was most important was that I “show up,” be present, and give my full attention to people individually and as a group.

Join Whitney and me as we continue the conversation. What are your success discoveries? What resonates with you?

 

 

 

Ask the Expert: Cameron Gott
Cameron Gott

Cameron Gott

Our popular “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For August, I’m thrilled to have with us coach and trainer, Cameron Gott to share his insights about enlisting help.

My wonderful friend and mentor, Denslow Brown introduced me to Cam many years ago. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure of not only hearing Cam speak about coaching and ADHD, but also trained with him directly through Coach Approach for Organizers. I love our conversations whether they are in person, over the phone, or through our social media channels. He’s insightful, interesting, and always offers a unique perspective. Before we begin the interview, here’s more about him.

Cameron Gott is a champion of Global Creatives who helps smart people with ADHD get the stuff done that really matters. He also trains and mentors coaches, and blogs about thriving as a Global Creative. With Denslow Brown and Andrea Sharb, Cam develops and delivers high quality coach training and certification uniquely tailored for professional organizers through Coach Approach for Organizers. You can connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  Your life’s work is about coaching others to take action on what really matters. What prompts your clients to reach out for help?

Cameron Gott:  Clients seek coaching support when they see a real need for change - That what was working no longer works. For my clients it is a desire to have a different daily work experience than just addressing the most urgent matters on their lists.

Linda:  What are some of the challenges we might encounter when we enlist help?

Cam:  Ourselves, namely a fixed mindset powered by dusty old beliefs that no longer serve us like, “To be successful I have to do this by myself!” or “I’m too messed up to be helped!” or “I shouldn’t need help!” These old, fixed beliefs can convince us that enlisting help equals giving up, which in turn equals failure. We don’t want to be perceived as weak so we don’t ask for help. It’s a vicious cycle. False beliefs about ‘going it alone’ can become even more amplified when we think about our biggest dreams.

Linda:  What is the “Lone Ranger” approach and how does it sabotage success?

Cam:  Americans can have a romantic idea about how success looks. It’s based on the image of the lone cowboy, independent and self reliant who rides in to save the day.  Success stories in business magnify this storyline of grit, determination and self-reliance.  These are not bad qualities but don’t be fooled. In this day and age of  connectivity and specialty, success comes through these qualities but also collaboration, communication, strategic support and what Stephen Covey refers to as valueing differences. When we embrace the ‘go it alone/Lone Ranger’ mindset and focus only on the our pre-conceived notion of success, we shut ourselves off from incredible resources and offers of help along the journey.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal enlisting help challenge?

Cam:Learning about and living with my own unique brain wiring. Diagnosed with ADD at age 28, I had to overcome a lot of shame to reach out for help. I also had to get clear on what I actually needed help with! I am still learning at age 49 about my strengths, sensitivities and challenges. What’s shifted is how I view enlisting help. Before I viewed it from a ‘helpless’ perspective. Now I view enlisting help from a curious/learning perspective, which is very different, very empowering. This approach to enlisting help is a central theme when working with my ADHD clients.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about enlisting help?

Cam:When we open ourselves to help amazing people come forward and amazing things happen.  Some of my richest connections first started out as a request for help.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to add about enlisting help?

Cam:Enlisting help is good boundaries practice and management. Be aware, stay engaged and pay attention to your limits. Be open and vulnerable but also be specific with ‘the ask.’ Don’t hand it off completely. Stay informed and stay present. Research your help needs before you ask for help. Help doesn’t mean giving up responsibility or ultimate control. Create mutual agreements with help partners defining roles and expectations with clear end points. When it comes to enlisting coaching help interview more than one coach and be curious about whose agenda they will champion, theirs or yours.

Thank you, Cam for being here with us. Where to begin? There are so many gems that resonate with me like “dusty old beliefs that no longer serve us.” How often do we get in our own way by holding on to ideas that aren’t productive? Guilty as charged! Your “Lone Ranger” idea also strikes a chord with me. How often do we shut ourselves off from potential resources and help because we think we have to do it all alone? Did you write that for me? I’ve learned over time how to reach out for help, collaborate, and let go of the “going it alone” idea. Then there’s your idea about getting clear with what help you really need and the growth and learning that follows. While I could go on and on, I’ll stop here because I’d love to hear from others.

Join Cam and me as we continue the conversation. What are some enlisting help challenges or successes have you experienced? What are your thoughts?