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« 3 Tips for Letting Go | Ask the Expert: Yota Schneider - Part 1 »
Wednesday
Mar282012

Ask the Expert: Yota Schneider - Part 2

Yota Schneider, Open for SuccessLife transitions coach, Yota Schneider shares more perspectives about next steps in this two-part interview. In Part 1, Yota talked with me about many things including key ingredients for making successful choices and navigating the uncertainty gap.  Our conversation continues as she shares more insights with us. Before we begin, here’s some background about Yota.

Yota Schneider is a life transitions coach working with people who want to explore the hidden gifts and opportunities of change in their lives. Her approach is inspiring, practical, and empowering. As a Seasons of Change certified Master Coach and a mindfulness meditation practitioner, Yota uses a variety of tools and strategies to help her clients overcome self-doubt, gain a new perspective on life’s ups and downs, and make decisions and choices that are fueled by greater clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or her website.

Linda:  Why do we get stuck and have difficulty moving forward?

Yota:  Change isn’t easy. Whether it’s our choice or not, we still have to adapt to a new way of being and that can be intimidating.

During times of transition we come up against our fears, disempowering beliefs and habits, unrealistic expectations, and external pressure. There are practical matters to cope with, growing pains to tolerate and let’s not forget, timing. There’s a time for everything. Time plays by it’s own rules. We have no control over some things.

Being stuck and having difficulty moving forward can be a good thing because it gives us the time and space we need to do our homework and become the kind of person who can recognize, appreciate and take full advantage of what comes next.

Unless being stuck and unable to more forward is rooted in some chronic life issue that needs to be dealt with, use this time as a time of exploration and discovery. Let go of the stigma and look at it from a place of curiosity.

 

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around figuring out the next step?

Yota:  Patience isn’t my strong suit. I am no different than many people who want things done yesterday. I also have the tendency to be hard on my self. At times of transition, when nothing is quite clear and the day-to-day needs are pressing on me, I can hear the voice in my head saying, “Not again. You should know better by now. Why in the world can’t you be like other people?”

I guess that’s why I love working with people who are being challenged from the inside out. I know the drill all too well. Over the years and through the many changes and transitions I’ve experienced, I’ve learned to work with the voice of doubt and fear.

I hear it and recognize it for what it is- the voice of self-doubt. I don’t fight it, but I don’t welcome it either. I just recognize and breathe through it. I take good care of myself. I give my attention to what’s right in front of me. I become selective of whom I surround myself with. I read, journal, meditate, work in my garden, and take long walks. I try to honor that part of me that needs to be quiet, still, and creative. I go with the flow. When I fall, I pick myself up gently.

Over the years, I’ve learned and am still learning, what it means to be kind to one self. Life can be difficult at times. I don’t have to make things more difficult than they already are.

 

Linda:  What is the most surprising discovery about figuring out “next”?

Yota:  I’ve been through enough changes and maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by what I’m going to share with you, yet, I always catch myself in awe about these two points.

First, what needs to change will always change. Fighting against the inevitable makes things more difficult than they ought to be.  Once, we stop resisting and let go of the need to know why it happened, the process of figuring out “what’s next” is a lot easier than we think.

Next, no matter how difficult a transition may be and how impatient we may grow or how many tantrums we may throw in the process, things will unravel at their own pace. Then, one day we open our eyes as if waking up from a long winter’s nap, and find ourselves exactly where we belong. We feel renewed, refreshed, and ready for another round.

 

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Yota:  You’ve been really thorough, Linda. The one thing that comes to mind is what happens after we’ve embarked on our “next” stage.

Many either don’t know how to or forget to celebrate the warmth of summer after a long and cold winter. Many of us tend to look over our shoulder, waiting for the next shoe to drop, even as we’re embraced by success. Lousy habit, don’t you think?

Remember the importance to celebrate as we go. There’s so much to be grateful for. Why not take inventory, count our blessings, celebrate our success and the completion of yet, another journey? Change will come around again but, in the meantime, let’s celebrate what we have, what we learned, and share our gifts with others. It’s like storing sunny memories for when the cold of winter comes around again. It comes handy.

Thank you so much for inviting me to discuss one of my favorite subjects. I can’t wait to see what your readers share about their experience.

Thank you, Yota for your wonderful thoughts about next steps. I invite all of you to join us as we continue the conversation. What are your thoughts, experiences or questions about next steps?

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Reader Comments (10)

Once again, Yota distils her thinking with some essential concepts such as change not necessarily being easy, to which I would agree & also add that it is also inevitable. Also, getting stuck, or to re-use my analogy from the earlier post, 'treading in the wild white water' can be used as a great time for introspection, & re-realising the things, like time, as Yota says, that are beyond our control.
I also loved the fact that Yota highlights the need to look after ourselves, or in the words of Stephen Covey, 'Sharpen The Saw'; I have found this principle essential for restoring my core energy to be able to manage transformational transitions, as well as my ability to give to those that matter most around me. So powerful.
Yota's closing thought about remembering to celebrate our successes as we go is a gem of an idea...it allows us to be happy in the moment, whilst looking forward with excited anticipation & a child-like curiosity about the transitions that lay ahead of us.
Bravo Yota for being a beacon for positive personal transformation, & again Linda for being the bountiful bundle of positivity that she is.

March 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrant Willcox

Hello Grant,
Thank you for your comment and feedback. As I read through, a pattern/map started to emerge.
This is what I saw . . .
Change is inevitable and a great time for introspection and restoration of our core energy. We need to be in the moment, and develop a child-like curiosity in order to manage the transformational power of transition.
Words of wisdom, indeed!
You obviously have been down this path . . . more than once. I'm so happy you find the idea, of celebrating our successes, as they come, a gem. Taking the time to celebrate doesn't come natural for many people. Yet, to celebrate and give thanks for all we've experienced is a way of honoring abundance and inviting grace in our lives.

March 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYota Schneider

Thank you for your feedback Yota! As you as have observed, I have been down the transitional toll road many times & also helped many of my coaching clients through the same process; throughout every experience I have learned & indeed continue to learn, which is where that child-like curiosity gets to play.
Your insights around celebrating our successes are a marvellous reminder for us all to recognise the positives in the here & now, as well as the grace that awaits us. The acknowledgement of our successes also serves as a great kind of organic metric, showing us just how far we've come throughout our transitions & therefore giving us an enhanced perspective, with a fine measure of our journey of personal change.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom here with Linda & all the other fortunate visitors to The Other Side Of Organized. Namaste.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrant Willcox

Loving the conversation here! It's affirming to hear about success and grace in the face of changes and choices. Thank you Yota and Grant for speaking words of hope and positivity.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Samuels

Great conversation. I especially love "what needs to change, will always change." That is very powerful. I am a huge advocate of the basic life lessons that Eckhart Tolle speaks about in The Good Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. He stresses the importance of being present with one's self, and that there is no productive value in hanging on to what has already happened (living in the past) nor worry about what has not yet happened (the future). I try everyday to follow this consciousness because I have no control of what's to be, only where I am right now at this moment in time. So, I take a few moments to enjoy a sunset, listen to the birds sing, and pay attention to my beautiful loving family. If you are worrying about what comes "next", you will have missed all this joy!

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancy Borg

Nancy- These are such beautiful thoughts about being present. It's a gift to be able to quiet yourself enough to enjoy the now and appreciate the beauty that surrounds you. In our busy, hectic lives, this doesn't always seem possible. When we allow ourselves to slow down even slightly, it makes a big difference. Thank you for slowing down enough to stop by and share you wonderful ideas with us.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Samuels

Thanks Yota for sharing your thoughts about change. I especially loved "I just recognize and breathe through it." Tough times require a lot of us, and just moving through it, with poise and pace, make the difference.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEllen Delap

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for being in the moment, right here, with us. There is power in the gathering of like minded people, isn't it?
This very moment is all we have and yet, being fully present is one of most challenging tasks. It requires great resolve and kindness towards oneself because it's so easy to get distracted. So, we go on and do the best we can and we accept that, at times, we'll miss it, but forge forward we must.
With each breath we center ourselves and sharpen our powers of observation, acceptance and recognition.
And so time moves, moment by moment.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYota Schneider

Good to have you here, Ellen,
Yes, at times we're asked to reach deep and hold on for dear life. Everything seems to happen at once and with great intensity and if we let our mind to have its way with us, we loose our footing. At times like this, there's nothing more powerful than our breath.
Breathing through the confusion can bring us back to where we stand so we can regain our perspective and see what is asked from us, in the present moment.
And that, as you said, can make all the difference.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYota Schneider

Ellen- It's always wonderful to have you join our conversation. I see that Yota's ideas around breathing through the challenging times resonated with you. That slowing down helps us navigate, as you said with, "poise." Thanks again for taking the time to stop by and share.

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Samuels

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