Life transitions coach, Yota Schneider shares more perspectives about next steps in this two-part interview. In Part 1, Yota talked with me about many things including key ingredients for making successful choices and navigating the uncertainty gap. Our conversation continues as she shares more insights with us. Before we begin, here’s some background about Yota.
Yota Schneider is a life transitions coach working with people who want to explore the hidden gifts and opportunities of change in their lives. Her approach is inspiring, practical, and empowering. As a Seasons of Change certified Master Coach and a mindfulness meditation practitioner, Yota uses a variety of tools and strategies to help her clients overcome self-doubt, gain a new perspective on life’s ups and downs, and make decisions and choices that are fueled by greater clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or her website.
Linda: Why do we get stuck and have difficulty moving forward?
Yota: Change isn’t easy. Whether it’s our choice or not, we still have to adapt to a new way of being and that can be intimidating.
During times of transition we come up against our fears, disempowering beliefs and habits, unrealistic expectations, and external pressure. There are practical matters to cope with, growing pains to tolerate and let’s not forget, timing. There’s a time for everything. Time plays by it’s own rules. We have no control over some things.
Being stuck and having difficulty moving forward can be a good thing because it gives us the time and space we need to do our homework and become the kind of person who can recognize, appreciate and take full advantage of what comes next.
Unless being stuck and unable to more forward is rooted in some chronic life issue that needs to be dealt with, use this time as a time of exploration and discovery. Let go of the stigma and look at it from a place of curiosity.
Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around figuring out the next step?
Yota: Patience isn’t my strong suit. I am no different than many people who want things done yesterday. I also have the tendency to be hard on my self. At times of transition, when nothing is quite clear and the day-to-day needs are pressing on me, I can hear the voice in my head saying, “Not again. You should know better by now. Why in the world can’t you be like other people?”
I guess that’s why I love working with people who are being challenged from the inside out. I know the drill all too well. Over the years and through the many changes and transitions I’ve experienced, I’ve learned to work with the voice of doubt and fear.
I hear it and recognize it for what it is- the voice of self-doubt. I don’t fight it, but I don’t welcome it either. I just recognize and breathe through it. I take good care of myself. I give my attention to what’s right in front of me. I become selective of whom I surround myself with. I read, journal, meditate, work in my garden, and take long walks. I try to honor that part of me that needs to be quiet, still, and creative. I go with the flow. When I fall, I pick myself up gently.
Over the years, I’ve learned and am still learning, what it means to be kind to one self. Life can be difficult at times. I don’t have to make things more difficult than they already are.
Linda: What is the most surprising discovery about figuring out “next”?
Yota: I’ve been through enough changes and maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by what I’m going to share with you, yet, I always catch myself in awe about these two points.
First, what needs to change will always change. Fighting against the inevitable makes things more difficult than they ought to be. Once, we stop resisting and let go of the need to know why it happened, the process of figuring out “what’s next” is a lot easier than we think.
Next, no matter how difficult a transition may be and how impatient we may grow or how many tantrums we may throw in the process, things will unravel at their own pace. Then, one day we open our eyes as if waking up from a long winter’s nap, and find ourselves exactly where we belong. We feel renewed, refreshed, and ready for another round.
Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?
Yota: You’ve been really thorough, Linda. The one thing that comes to mind is what happens after we’ve embarked on our “next” stage.
Many either don’t know how to or forget to celebrate the warmth of summer after a long and cold winter. Many of us tend to look over our shoulder, waiting for the next shoe to drop, even as we’re embraced by success. Lousy habit, don’t you think?
Remember the importance to celebrate as we go. There’s so much to be grateful for. Why not take inventory, count our blessings, celebrate our success and the completion of yet, another journey? Change will come around again but, in the meantime, let’s celebrate what we have, what we learned, and share our gifts with others. It’s like storing sunny memories for when the cold of winter comes around again. It comes handy.
Thank you so much for inviting me to discuss one of my favorite subjects. I can’t wait to see what your readers share about their experience.
Thank you, Yota for your wonderful thoughts about next steps. I invite all of you to join us as we continue the conversation. What are your thoughts, experiences or questions about next steps?